Libby's Forums & Updates

16-Aug-2021 | Boundaries

So this past month has been an absolute trainwreck. 

I hope you've been okay, that you're doing okay right now as well. My past month has been both anxiety-inducing, and serene. 

I'm in Sydney, Australia, as I've mentioned before. If you're aware of the news, then you'd know that New South Wales, the state Sydney is in, has been in lockdown since June 26th as a result of our second wave of Covid19. 

The wave started because, well, Sydney's not exactly known for its obedience. It's been, what, seven weeks of the lockdown and we've only just started on severe restrictions for everyone in the state because too many people were breaching the rules, trying to find loopholes, placing devil's advocate on how it doesn't affect them, that they're a good citizen, and why should they obey when they're not in the wrong?

It's mainly idiots. Covidiots, the term is now. It's been tough watching, and tough staying home and not going anywhere at all, and finding ways to pass the time. 

I've watched the Olympics, which was fantastic - and everyone was incredible! I loved watching the opening ceremony, and Tokyo did a brilliant job hosting despite restrictions and providing some much needed escape from the world, by showcasing just how incredible people could be. 

But also, I remember watching the women's gymnastics and they showed this Dutch gymnast, an Olympian, who spoke five languages and had a double masters degree and was now gunning for the gold medal-

I immediately looked down at the pile of crumbs on my stomach and my reclined posture on the sofa, looked at my whole life and was like, 'nah she's not human'. 

So in some ways it was great haha, I loved seeing the new sports too, that was a lot of fun. But also, when those two weeks were over, and we have a few weeks between that and the Paralympics, I'm like, oh that's all my fun gone. 

Then I found baking shows. 

Nadiya Bakes on Netflix is STELLAR. I also just started Bake Squad. That's helped. Food's a big comfort for a lot of people - I was watching an interview the other day about a news reporter, who was asked about the statistics that surprised him, I think, and the reporter said that in times of crisis and dread, people are drawn to food, and provided the example that after 9/11, food channels spiked considerably on television, because people wanted the comfort of food after such a tragic circumstance. 

The same thing's happening again, to a degree. Food shows are spiking, people are going to the comfort of watching homecooked meals, people talking about warmth, flavour, spice, sugar, the lot, and it brings people joy. 

I was on that wagon, latibulating (fun fact: latibulate means to hide in a corner in an attempt to escape reality, aka me in 2020-21), and then I found out that Siren Bay had been stolen. 

If you follow me on Twitter (LHBlake) then you know I've been a bit irate about the whole thing. I've ranted about it, raged about it, and fought against it. I spent three days after discovering the theft of sending email after email, complaint after complaint, trying to find the loophole to stop this from happening. 

It took those three days to find it, and even then I can't stop the site from doing what they're doing. It's an automated program, not human run, so there's no one to shout at over the phone, you just have to deal with it. Wattpad can't do anything because it's on another site, but they're aware of the site and what's happening. I don't know if they'll do anything until an author who is on the Paid Stories program and/or an Ambassador, who is in the Wattpad Books program as well as having their book auctioned for film, has their stuff stolen by them and then they'll launch an all-out assault on whoever they can. 

But then, the person who runs the server that hosts the thieving site, on Twitter, is followed by the CEO of Wattpad. Hmm. Interesting. 

It's hard to enforce boundaries like protecting your own work, or protecting your own home from something you cannot see. It's hard. It's exhausting, but sometimes, you have to jump through loopholes when you don't want to, or not jumping when you want to. 

I've got to the stage in lockdown where I've contemplated making paper. That's my level of sanity. Making. Paper. MAKING PAPER. 

But sometimes, those boundaries you set yourself, they're there for a reason. Protection. 

When I don't need that protection anymore, as soon as those boundaries down, I'll jump through the hoops I want to, frolicking through fields, cartwheel down the beach, whatever I crave to do, I'll do it. 

The hard thing to do now, is wait, because that's all I can do. 

Wait it out. 

Making paper, I'm still shaking my head over that. I genuinely thought that might be a fun thing to do, make parchment, and pass the time of lockdown with that. 

MAKE PAPER. 

Libby, I say to myself, just eat another cake. You'll be fine. 

We're all going to be fine. 

~

Lots of love to you all, forgive my chaotic energy this chapter post, it's 12:15am and I'm on the brink of losing my sanity. Again, I contemplated making paper. 

Bonkers. 

With love, 
Libby x