DON'T SAY SORRY IF YOU'LL DO IT AGAIN.
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— Does telling 'sorry' is a significant way for us to be absolved? Yes, it is.
I asked three people, “why do a person say sorry if they've committed a mistake?”
One of them said, “of course to be forgiven,” the second person said, “because they're guilty,” while the third one said, “for them not to feel guilty or worried before taking asleep."
All of them have a point. Some people say sorry to be forgiven, some of them apologized because they feel guilty, and some of them ask for forgiveness just not to feel worried about what they did.
But after you condone them, have you ever asked yourself if they did it to settle the damage? Or to perpetrate another mistake over and over again?
It's one of the realities we encounter, that most people only apologize and reform momentarily for them to have another ticket to do a new mistake, intended or not.
Someone said, that even though a person executes a mistake, you should still forgive them and that's one of my manners.
I mean, I chose to forgive and accept the mistake they've done but it doesn't mean I neglect what they did.
I had a friend but I won't reveal her name. We became companions when we're in seventh grade up to this day, but do you know why I brought her up into this piece?
It's because she has done minor mistakes towards me but I always forgive her. There's also a moment I was disgruntled because of her to the point that I ignored her for me to move on and gain my peace of mind back.
But there's nothing I can do. It's my decision whether I'll forgive her, or I'll be alone throughout the school year. If God can forgive sinful individuals, then so do I.
She's the only friend who stayed after all, and I don't have enough courage to find some cause' they don't want me to be with them in the first place.
Although I chose to move on and remain my manner as what it should, I still can't help myself but feel hurt cause' I'm still a human and no one can invalidate that Feeling.
I find it hard sometimes to disregard the wrongdoings especially if that damage my life. Like what they said, "I'll forgive but will never forget."
Saying sorry can pardon your fault, but it can't heal the scars you brought.
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I smiled as I finished writing my thoughts on the last page of my journal, and I can't help myself but remember the reason why I am writing this piece.
Him.
I didn't expect that a person who cheated on me, would be a person who can end my book of thoughts.
If I didn't saw him last week inside his car with a certain girl, then I am not at this portion right now.
It's the last day of the year and unluckily, we didn't end this year being together. That's our fate, I guess.
I prepared myself before leaving the house, cause' I have lots to buy later for the new year's celebration.
I left the house without saying adieu cause' no one's around, maybe they are sleeping. I didn't bother to ride a vehicle since the market is just a few walks away from here.
As I'm walking through the streets, I saw a familiar figure approaching my path but I just ignored it and continue my steps.
But as I've expected, he blocked my way.
"How many days you'll spend avoiding me?" he asked. "Forever," I said and begin my walks again.
"Maureen!" he exclaimed which made me stopped from walking. "I already said sorry, Isn't it enough for you?" he asked.
I looked at him again and said, "It's enough, Kyle. I forgave you, but it doesn't signify that what you did is okay and If you're thinking that I'm good enough cause' I chose to let your mistakes off, then you're wrong. Everything has its limitation, and you just hit my limits. This would be my last time forgiving you, cause' I would never do it again. We are done, Kyle."
It was difficult for me to let those words out but I just did, and I'm overwhelmed. I turned back and was about to step but he called my name once again.
"Maureen," he uttered.
"I am sorry, c-can we go back to where we used to be?" he added while asking it as softly as he could.
He and his entreaties again, but I'm done with his bullish*ts.
I looked back and said, "Don't force me to choose you again. It sucks."
I started to walk but then halted cause' I forgot to tell him my message.
I turned myself back and said, "One more thing... Don't say sorry if you'll do it again."
Yes, pain is already there and I can't do anything but feel it.
I left him behind and continue my way to the market without bitterness, and no hard feelings. Just efface yourself, and you can heal.
There's more in life than him, and I know my worth.
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© DiolDy_
