Three to Tango

The Fool Seeks For Diversion Instead of Solution

"Venice my dear! I thought you couldn't make it," Zandro greeted me with a tight hug.

Kaagad ko namang tinanggap ang nakasinding yosi na iniumang niya sa bibig ko. I took a hit and the cigarette smoke filled my lungs and I couldn't help but to cough a little.

Zandro laughed at me before he took the cigarette from my mouth and puffed as well. "Mukhang 'di na sanay ang baga mo sa yosi ah. I guess you really changed after getting into college."

"Paminsan na lang ako nagyoyosi. Kapag stressed sa acads. Alam mo naman, kailangan kong ayusin ang buhay ko— gusto kong makatakas sa tanginang buhay ko e."

Nagkibit balikat naman ako bago ko siya inakbayan. Sabay kaming pumasok sa room 413 kung saan puno na rin ng mga tao. Zandro Calleja was a friend from Senior High— and probably one of few people whom I stayed in touch with after turning my back from the rebellious and dark version of myself. He's almost five years older than me and a gay. He's tall, buffed-body, tan and has a ridiculous pink buzzed cut hairdo. Naging malapit ako sa kaniya kaya hindi ko pinutol ang komunikasyon namin kahit na sabi ko noon na gusto ko nang talikuran 'yung pariwarang Venice.

I guess keeping in touch with Zandro was a nice decision. Hindi ko alam na kakailanganin ko pala ang tulong niya para makalimot sa sakit. Hindi ko alam na dadating pala ang panahon na sobra akong masasaktan at madidiskaril na naman sa riles na tinatahak ko.

"So, what happened? I thought you're doing fine in college, Ven? Why are you back in this shit?"

Shit? He call the thing he's doing for a living shit and yet he keeps doing it. The irony of this gay.

"This shit support your comfortable living," I pointed out as we made through the crowd of dancing people, wearing nothing but thongs, bikinis and some were even in their glorious nakedness. Hindi ako na-awkward sa mga nakahubad na lalaki at babaeng nadadaanan namin. Sanay na ako. Ilang beses na ba akong naka-attend ng ganito noong senior high ako? Hindi ko na mabilang.

The loud music was defeaning but it's the kind of distraction I want right now.

"Alam mong wala akong ibang alam gawin kun'di ito, Venice. Ito ang pinakamadaling paraan para kumita ng pera."

"Pera... para sa mga katulad nating hindi pinalad, buong buhay nating poproblemahin ang pera," wala sa sariling saad ko. Hindi ako narinig ni Zandro dahil na rin sa lakas ng musika sa buong kwarto. I could literally feel its vibration on the red pumps I was wearing.

Sinundan ko si Zandro papunta sa maliit na couch na nasa kaliwang bahagi ng silid. Naupo ako sa tabi niya at kaagad kinuha ang bote ng beer sa maliit na glass table sa harapan ko.

"Tell me now. Why are you back?"

Napabuntong hininga ako. Am I back in this kind of thing? No. I just need distraction.

"The woman who saved me from my misery and complete distraction is now gone, Zandro. She died... no, she killed herself," the bitter taste of the beer burned my throat as tears clouded my vision. No. Hindi ako p'wedeng umiyak. Ayaw ni Ava na umiiyak ako. I immediately wiped the tears that was about to fall.

"Are you telling me about your best friend? Ava?"

Huminga ako nang malalim bago muling tinungga ang bote ng beer na hawak ko. Pagak akong natawa bago walang lakas na napasandal sa sofa na kinauupuan ko. The music banging in the whole room somehow helped me to get my mind off of Ava and her sudden death.

"Yeah. I'm talking about her... Ava was my savior, Zandro. She's not just a friend. I owe her my life." Napapikit ako saka napatingala. Hindi ako iiyak, kasi baka nakikita ako ni Ava mula sa langit. "Habang ang lahat ay tinalikuran ako dahil sa mga bisyo ko at sa tuluyang pagkapariwara ko noon, si Ava lang ang nanatili. Ginawa niya ang lahat para iligtas ako sa pagkalulong sa droga, sa sex, sa yosi at sigarilyo. She did her best to pull me put from my misery and helped me to start again."