Fangs

Bloody Fools

With a growl of hunger-driven frustration, Alicia pricked her finger and smeared a droplet of blood onto the comatose hare's lolling tongue. After a few moments it struggled in her grasp. She let it go at the edge of a meadow and sprinted home, barely managing to seal the lid of her coffin before she died for the day. 

She woke at sunset with renewed determination to leave the brood. Willem's imposed diet left her unsatisfied, constantly hungry no matter how many small animals she managed to feed from every night. In her opinion, a vampire's existence should not involve chasing fluffy bunnies in a seemingly endless cycle of feed and revive. Unfortunately, the one and only time she asked Willem's permission to leave, he refused, reiterating how their lifestyle would keep them off Hunter radar and proceeded to lock her coffin with silver chains in punishment. A year of deprivation taught her nothing beyond hatred for her maker. 

Planning her escape occupied her thoughts constantly, so much so that she paid no heed to where she released the animals she fed on. Nor did she consider Willem's warning of what would happen if the animals died with vampire blood in their system. 

In the small hours of the morning, several nights after she made the decision to leave, Alicia released her furry prey near the bank of a river. Unbeknownst to her, the river levels were higher than usual, flowing with enough force to sweep the small creature into its depths and subsequently drown. Several kilometres downstream, it became entangled in exposed tree roots, and once the water subsided, the hare dropped from its wooden prison into a dark and damp crevice.

On the third night, it rose from its lair with the hunger of a demon. No longer armed with relatively harmless, herbivore incisors, the hare turned on an approaching fox, baring its flesh-piercing chompers in readiness for its first meal. The unsuspecting fox was no match for the vamphare's speed and agility. Within minutes of engaging in battle, the fox took its final bloodless gasp.

The hare travelled downstream by night, instinctively taking over burrows and dens of other species before the sun rose. On coming across a field of sheep shortly after dusk one evening, it attacked one and the rest of the flock panicked, creating enough noise to alert the farmer, who, on seeing the carnage but not the beast responsible, gathered his neighbours to hunt a rabid dog. 

Before long, word of the nightly attacks reached Victor, Vampire Hunter and mortal enemy of Willem. He had a suspicion that something other than a dog had left the trail of death, so, he and his apprentice travelled North - Victor hoping to finally snare Willem and his elusive brood of leeches, and Dylan hoping to finally see a bit of action. 

Upon reaching the end of the trail of dead animals strewn carelessly along the river bank, Victor and Dylan headed across fields until they reached a meadow of trampled grass. 

"They're close," Victor declared after a brief scan of the open area.

Dylan was confused. As far as he could tell it looked like every other field of grass they passed on their journey. "Should I set up camp or do you want to find a cottage to rest until nightfall?"

"Our blood suckers will smell the remnants of a fire from a kilometre away. If they've been surviving on animals, as the trail we followed indicates, one of two things will happen should we make camp: they'll be ravenous and attack, in which case we don't stand a chance of survival; or they'll flee the area, disappearing for another decade."

"So we find a nearby cottage?"

"No," Victor replied, his patience waning. "Have I taught you nothing these past years?"

Dylan puffed a breath through clenched teeth, and muttered, "Aparently not." 

"Having never encountered a vampire, I'll allow for your ignorance this once, but mark my words Boy, one mistake during the hunt will cost you your life. Their speed and strength is far superior to ours, as is their night vision and sense of smell. If we are anywhere in the vicinity when the sun goes down, we become their supper. Understood?"

"Oh! So what do we do then?"

Victor smiled menacingly at his apprentice. "We find their lair and stake them while they're sleeping."

With a baleful glance at the sun in western sky, Dylan swallowed his panic and hoisted the equipment backpack higher onto his shoulder, hurrying his steps to keep up with Victor.

"Sir?" Dylan asked with apprehension. "The sun's almost below the tree line. Shouldn't we be finding shelter for the night?" 

Victor snorted. "There are only two buildings nearby and one of those is on Holy ground. If you were paying any attention to your lessons you'd know vampires can't walk on Holy ground. We'll be done in plenty of time."

When the building Victor earmarked turned up empty, Dylan's panic escalated. Victor's insistence on searching every nook and cranny left them insufficient time to leave the area. They were sitting ducks. 

"I should never have listened to you!" Dylan cried. "After all your warnings about taking chances, you lead us straight into purgatory with no backup plan. What are we going to do now?"

"Calm down! We'll take refuge in the church. It's consecrated ground, remember? I always have a backup plan, Boy."

~*~

Alicia smelled human the moment she woke. Fear: thick, pungent, wafting in waves through the ventilation grill on the wall above her coffin. Her mouth watered in anticipation. Wiping away the excess saliva with a dusty sleeve only served to remind her how much she loathed picking tufts of fur off her tongue. 

One taste surely won't hurt? Perhaps it will give me enough strength to stand up to Willem? Alicia thought, her plans to flee morphing to incorporate making a meal of the visitor. If I drain them and dump the body somewhere public, the Hunter will come and take care of Willem for me. Yes! I need to move fast. I don't have much time before the others catch wind of him though. 

She made her way to the door of the crypt, stopping at the threshold when she heard two male voices arguing about some plan. A tentative peek around the corner revealed a handsome young man with a backpack clutched tight against his chest, and a stooped old man tugging on the backpack's strap. 

"If you're so sure we're safe here, it won't matter if I keep this while you go pee," the younger man stated and, giving a sharp tug, snatched the strap from the old man's grip. "I'll get the fire started."

The old man sputtered and turned with more agility than Alicia thought possible for a man his age. Once the younger man disappeared into the dilapidated church, Alicia raced after the old one, colliding with him around the corner, his pants at mid thigh. She wasted no time in taking him. 

Energy came with an explosion of intense flavour. She couldn't have stopped feeding even if she wanted to and it ended too soon. Thoughts of draining the young man crossed her mind, but she dismissed the notion. She needed a witness. With a smile of satisfaction, she hoisted the old man over her shoulder, carrying him to the back door of the church where she dumped the body and hammered a closed fist against the door.

At the sound of urgent banging, Dylan withdrew a stake from the backpack and opened the door. At first he didn't see anything, almost closing the door again. He hurriedly pulled Victor's prone figure over the threshold and slammed the door closed, sliding the heavy, iron bar into its keeper. After several minutes of swearing a blue streak, Dylan remembered the bottle Victor had told him contained a potion that could heal near fatal wounds in minutes. He retrieved it from the backpack and held it to Victor's pale lips. 

Victor gasped and died in Dylan's arms, having tasted only a drop of blood-red potion.

Banging sounded at the front door. Dylan ignored it, choosing to hide with Victor within the depths of a large cupboard in the basement of the church. He never emerged. 

On the third night, Victor stumbled from the building, his agonised face stained red with Dylan's blood. 

Willem welcomed him into the brood with open arms. "Karma is a bitch."

~*~

The End

Thanks for reading! If you enjoyed the story or find any errors, please do let me know. 

Written as an entry into WattVampires "Immortal Fools" contest. The prompt instructed us to write a 600 - 1800 word humorous vampire story. Humour is not my forte, but hopefully I nailed it enough to qualify. (Word count on completion 1413)