Attacked

Broken & Alone

She was pregnant, hurt, sick and he wasn't even there for her.

9 months pregnant, he was in jail. I was due to give birth. 3 weeks later I gave birth, he wasn't there. I was scared and felt lonley, I had his Nana, mother and sister with me. And a lot of his family right outside my door waiting in anticipation for the arrival of a new child. Baby was born, he was prem and sick, so we were in the neonatal unit for a week, this was the scariest thing I'd ever have to do. A few weeks later we were home.

From now on I spent my days focusing on a child, my child. I spent 2 months alone with him, with a lot of help from his father's family, especially my sons great Nana and great uncle who were over almost everyday. The rest of the family there for me when needed. Finally after 2 months of utter inner loneliness, baby's father was released and brought home. After all the lies, cheating and neglect he had done before going to jail he promised he'd be there for me. Slowly after a few weeks if pure bliss he started back to his old ways, roaming, drugs and abuse. Every time he left I became a wreck. I'd cry, sometimes I'd cut but when I had my baby, nothing else really mattered. I would hold him in my arms and cry. I was a broken hearted mess.

I soon got use to his coming and going, months on and nothing has changed. He still does it, even today. Recently I found out that he was cheating on me. Chatting up other girls and even old people. Asking for relationships and sex, while the whole time I would be sitting at home with baby, alone. He soon then began selling drugs. And still leaving me alone.

Little does anyone know, the worst thing happened the other night. Something I could even say to anyone. But he knows now.