how to be a Gen Z, by Peter Parker

how to freak out your entire family- get an army

Warnings: kidnapping

Ships: oh my god. it doesn't look like there are any! wow. good job us. 

Let me start this off by saying, spiders are creepy. And I hate them. But since I'm half spider, I can't exactly kill them. So, one day I was in the tower, trying to find my will to live, when this big fat hairy, 8 legged demon showed up in front of me. I slipped, and my bowl of cereal landed on my head. So now I had milk and froot loops running through my hair, and a spider still to be dealt with. So I was laying there groaning when I heard,

"Oh dam dude, so sorry. Didn't mean to scare you. You good?" I shot up my cereal drenched head, and looked at the spider.

"Did you just talk?" he looked shocked-how did a spider look shocked?-but he nodded.

"Yeah bro, can you understand me?" I nodded shakily and the spider smiled-you know what, I'm not going to question this anymore.

"I think I can because I'm kinda half spider? It's hard to explain." the spider nodded, and looked at the cereal.

"Sorry for scaring you bro, my name's Chad. What about you?" His name is Chad-dear God.

"I'm Peter. Nice to meet you, wanna come with me?" he nodded, and I let him crawl onto my shoulder. Chad introduced me to all his spider friends, and I not only made a bunch more friends, but also got over my fear of spiders.

~le time skip~

It's been a couple of months since I've made all my spider friends, and a new, somehow super powerful, villain has come in. He's just a petty kidnapper, 'looking for revenge because of this' honestly, all the exact same. Get more creative.

Anyway, this kidnapper somehow took down all of the Avengers at the tower at that time, which included me, dad, Stephen, Scott, Rhodey, Happy and Pepper. Anyway, I woke up second last, Scott was still asleep, and groaned. Chad was in the corner, hanging from a web, and I nodded at him, assuring him I was ok. The kidnapper decided that me nodding was me being insolent and decided to whack me.

"Dudeeeee! What was that for!"

"No moving" ok, rude.

"I won't move if you won't." I'm going to get all the spiders to come and attack the kidnapper, spiders are creepy after all.

"What?" I smirked, ignoring the looks of everyone else, shaking their heads and making no movements.

"Chad. want to help?" everyone looked at me confused, and slightly worried for my sanity, before about 200 spiders appeared, most started walking towards the kidnappers, saying stuff like

"You hurt the cinnamon roll, you shall die" for some reason they all viewed me as a cinnamon roll, don't know why. But anyway, others headed towards us, cutting the ropes holding us non-powered people down,(they didn't know I was spider man), and I snapped the chains holding everyone else down. You might be thinking, why not just snap the ropes in the first place? Because I didn't want to reveal myself, and they could probably take me down again. After all, I didn't have my suit and only had my backup web shooters, me and Shuri made for emergencies, hardly enough to fight to this scale. Anyway, with the Kidnappers being drowned by spiders, it was safe. I freed everyone else and called back the spiders, letting dad and Dr strange deal with this.

When that was done, and I had finished making sure everyone was ok (the kidnappers were too scared to go near all the spiders, so they were all ok incase you're wondering) everyone turned to me.

"What was that?" I chuckled nervously.

"I kinda found out I could talk with spiders? And I made a lot of friends with them?" I smiled awkwardly and Dad opened his mouth in disbelief, before closing it and rubbing his temple.

"It's too early for this. I'll be in my lab." Pepper and Dr Strange nodded, and also left, but Scott stayed and gave me a high five.

"Bug bros! See you later Pete!" I waved after returning his high five, and let Chad crawl onto my shoulder, before going to the kitchen for some cereal. That actually went down a lot easier then I thought.