how to be a Gen Z, by Peter Parker

how to be freed from kidnappers-become friends with them

Warnings: kidnapping

Ships: omg guys we did it, It's not spiderfrost, it's Parkner. who's proud of us. 

I slowly cracked my tired eyes open, a blaring headache present. I slowly looked around, my neck stiff from sitting in a stereotypical kidnapping chair. I gently pulled at the dirty restraints, they were simple rope, it would not be able to hold me down. A newbie huh? This will be easy.

Just as I was about to yeet myself out of here, the rusty cell door creaked open, a 40 ish old woman walking in. She had short hair, a pointy nose and rather large, honey colored eyes.

Without saying a word, she took a seat in front of me, in an identical looking chair. I recognised the chairs, maybe they were from ikea? I have no clue, this probable concussion does not help me think straight. Well to be honest, when have I ever thought straight? Harley can attest to that. Anyway, lets get back on track, slightly scary lady sitting in front of me

"Hi!" I chirped, a smile dancing across my face. She blinked, then her own, rather warm smile graced her own lips.

"Hello" a motherly voice filled the damp cell. My smile widened, surprise filling my pained head.

"Sorry for all of this, I thought you were some stuck up babyman that swung around in spandex, not some innocent cinnamon roll that protects people" She spoke kindly, getting up and untying my wrists and ankles. I flexed my slightly chafed wrists and ankles, hearing the satisfying click.

"It is all good! My name is Peter, What is yours!" Her own smile widened.

"Bailey, I have a son just like you. I was wondering if you could explain to me the language of the, I think it is called, the Gen Z?" She questioned, her head tilting to the side.

"Of course!" And so it began, for hours I talked about vines, the way we speak and how we refer to dark stuff, like all of the time. The jokes and the slang. At some point she had brought in soup and bread, tomato soup I think. It was rather nice. In the end, she was amazing, she knew the slang and maybe, just maybe she could understand her kid.

I smiled at my great accomplishment.

"Thank You so much!" She brought me into a warm hug, she was a little bit taller than me, well it seems everyone is taller than me. I look like a dwarf compared to my boyfriend, Harley, he likes to let me know on a daily basis.

"It is all good, talk to me an-"

"Boom!"

"PETER HONEY! OLD MAN I FOUND MY SMOL BEAN AND HE IS talking to the kidnapper and eating soup?' Harley shouts, leading off into a questioning tone. His iron glove covered hand slowly lowering. 

"Meet Bailey! She's really nice and gave me this great soup! It taste like so good, you should try some, babe! Oh, Bailey! Meet my amazing boyfriend, Harley! He is so sweet, also so smart!" I explained as I jumped into my boyfriend's metal covered arms. His faceplate was up, showing his perplexed expression.

"Only you Peter, only you" He whispered, kissing my hair.

Sorry. I just realised how short this one is. Will probably change this into the shorts chapter that is coming along.  

Ha. Ha. Ha. No. To lazy.