28044673

This is a work of fiction. The story, names, characters, places, events, and incidents portrayed in this story are fictitious. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, places, buildings, and products is purely coincidental.

All Rights Reserved © 2021

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Closed Doors 

by: eybisidee_

When I was in middle school, I always find it weird that my parents doesn't want me closing my doors.

They would get mad if I close it when I am sleeping or just watching a movie.

High school came and it's still the same.

Whenever my friends and I are having a sleepover, my parents would want me to leave my door open.

My friends would laugh at me saying that my parents are treating me like a prisoner.

It was really suffocating not having my own privacy.

I would often stomp my feet when they would yell at me for not opening my doors when I'm inside my room.

Hearing their non-stop nagging just made me hate them for not giving me privacy.

I wasn't able to enjoy my alone time growing up.

I am now a college student and things are still pretty the same.

One night, I decided to close my doors while video chatting with my boyfriend.

We were just talking and laughing when my mom suddenly slammed my door and yelled at me.

"What's happening?", she asked

I was so shocked that I immediately hung up on my boyfriend.

"Nothing ma, it's nothing.", I told her.

"How many times do I have to tell you to don't lock your door?!", she shrieked.

I got so nervous but angry at the same time.

"I am not a child anymore, ma! I should decide whether to open or close my door!" I yelled.

I am so desperate for them to hear my side. 

All my life, I've been waiting for this moment to defend myself and wanting to have my own privacy.

But with a tear in her eyes, my mom said, "I'm just worried, anak."

I was so confused. 

"I've got nothing going on in here, ma. If you don't want me having a boyfriend, you could've just told me!"

She cried saying, "It's not like that, anak."

Annoyed, I asked her with a loud voice.

"Then what is it, ma? Don't you love me anymore? You are so overprotective that it is suffocating me!"

She sat down and said, "I just don't want to lose you like how we lost your sister. I didn't know what to do when we found her lifeless body hanging when we're just here inside our house. I want to see you every minute of my life so that I know you're safe and you're not harming yourself."

I cried so hard. 

My mom and dad were worried that I was going to hurt myself. 

They were afraid to experience again the pain of losing my beloved sister.

From then on, I would leave my doors open or just stay where they can see me.

I didn't want them to worry anymore.

Opening my doors meant so much to them.

And now, I open my doors because they mean so much to me.

I hope someday, you can close your door, too. Where your loved ones won't worry about you. For now, work on opening your doors until you can close it little by little.

If you're in a crisis now, do not hesitate to call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 

- National Suicide Prevention Lifeline
Hotline: 28044673

- Manila Lifeline Centre
Hotline: (02) 8969191
Hotline: Mobile phone: 0917 854 9191

You, being alive, means so much to me! Take care of yourself, and take action now. Your life is extremely important.

You are awesome!

You are a great person!

And I love you!

Take care,

Denisse. :)