Story of My Life (with 1D)

The Beginning

It all started at the ripe age of 13.

Outside, the rain poured. Thunder crashed, and it seemed like the perfect day to go outside to play.

I didn't.

I stayed inside, made myself a cup of hot cocoa, and sat my butt on my comfy chair.

Until that point in my life, I had thought I had found my true love: YouTube. I was so in love with the social media platform that I had composed my own poem based off my love for the website. While I no longer resonate with the meaning behind this poem, it was wholly underappreciated, and I still feel payne as I remember the lack of recognition for my 1 AM poetic efforts.

T

Anyway, here I was on my bed with a box of chocolates, crying over my ex. I was scrolling through YouTube, when a video suddenly showed up in my recommended:

"Remember One Direction? All 5 Auditions X Factor UK"

Remember? I had heard of them once or twice throughout my elementary school career - there was the time when "Best Song Ever" would be the only song playing in gym class, but I had always imagined them as a group of 40 year old men and Harry Styles in a garage. The one on the thumbnail did not look 40. I decided to give them a chance.

The video started to play.

First entered a blonde boy with blue eyes. He seriously needed a retainer or something, but I felt myself relate to him on a dental health level. I also seriously needed a retainer. And braces. With an expander.

He started to talk, rambling on and on about Justin Bieber, who he apparently got compared to a decent amount.

"...it's not a bad comparison"

I can't tell if this kid has a large ego or self-confidence issues, I thought.

He finally walked onstage, and I finally got to see his full blonde glory.

Well, he's hot.

He smiled. I internally lost my mind. 

"What's your name?" asked one of the judges. 

"Niall", he said, smiling.

Niall. Niall. That's unique. He's unique.

The camera panned to the audience, where a girl yelled, "Hot!", and a whole other row of girls was smiling obsessively.

Stop, he's mine.

"Is this going to make you really popular in school?" another judge asked.

He nodded modestly. "Yeah, I suppose Katy, yeah."

Yeah, it's not the self-confidence issues. But he's still cute.

He started singing about a phone, and I convinced myself that it was the best thing I'd ever heard.

The camera once again panned over the audience, where a bored girl stood clapping.

Shut up and give the guy some respect, I thought. That's my boyfriend you're not talking to.

Suddenly, Simon Cowell (who I had previously been taught was an icon through a German story) put up his hand to stop him.

You WHAT.

Blondie stopped singing, and "Katy" started to talk. 

"You're adorable," she said.

Mmhmm.

"and you have charisma."

Oh yeah he does.

"I just think maybe you should work on it."

HUH.

"You're only 16."

Niall looked as disgusted as me.

"I started out when I was 15. I didn't make it until I was 23."

Okay, time to move on.

Soon, Simon started to speak.

Thank you thank you thank you

"I think you're unprepared," he started.

WhAT.

"I think you came with the wrong song, you're not as good as you thought you were,"

Okay, now shut up.

"But I still like you."

This guy and his mood swings.

Moving on, I skipped ahead to realize he finally got three yeses and one no from the judges.

Soon, the next contestant came on. In a black coat was Liam, looking like the epitome of sadness. But still cute.

Why the heck is he this good looking too is this allowed

They played an emotional montage of him being nervous, and he finally got on stage.

Once there, they played another montage, in which he was rejected by Simon from an earlier season.

They flashed back to the stage, where Simon asked Liam of his song choice for his audition.

"I'm gonna sing Cry Me A River," Liam replied.

They all somewhat angrily looked up at Liam.

"Okay."

"Interested," a judge said in the most uninterested tone.

The poor guy moved from a semiconfident look to a sadly self-doubting expression, while the judges expressed zero sympathy towards the boy. 

After about 5 seconds of awkward looks around the room, Liam started to sing.

"Now, you say you're lonely,"

One of the judges immediately started smiling at him.

"You cried the whole night through

Well, you can cwy me a wivoir

Cry me a wivoir

I cried a wivoir ova you", he sang in his surprisingly British accent.