Loving a cursed heart - Sukufushi

No more flowers fallen

His chest hurt. He couldn't cry. He couldn't feel anything. He couldn't feel anything but the pain in his chest when Megumi would tell him

"I love you, my king"

Oh, but he can't love. So it only hurts him. Yet, he holds the man, kisses his head. Whispers in his ears sweat nothings that he'll probably forget about in the morning

"You're scum Sukuna. I hope you feel heartbreak"

That man leaves. He doesn't remember who that was, he knew he had pretty eyes, he can't seem to remember what colour. He doesn't remember anyone but him. His new Queen. Megumi. Oh but that man, that man before him was right, he would face heartbreak. He would cry a hundred moons because something was taken from him. His once beautiful emerald eyes are nothing but roses on his grave.

"We must leave my king. Your new Queen is here"

Oh, so they thought that he didn't love this one? Did they think that he was a monster like that man with white hair did? Megumi didn't think that, Megumi loved him, and Sukuna loved him in his own broken way

"But I loved this one. I remember his name, I remember everything about him. I think I loved him, didn't I?"

He didn't want to leave his grave. Can't they see? He did love Megumi, so why, why did he cough off those ugly horrible flowers. He didn't need too, because Sukuna loved him. Didn't he?

"If you loved him he would be here right now"

Ah, the truth really did hurt

"But I loved him! I still love him! Everything hurts, I can't stop thinking of him. I loved him, I loved him so much...I-I--"

cried, he cried again like he had cried a few hours ago. Its been two months since his lover's death. Yet it feels like it's been forever because there is no one to hold him anymore. Because there is no one to tell him ' I love you, my selfish king' Megumi knew what would happen when he fell for Sukuna, he knew the king was selfish. He's still selfish even after his most precious gem is taken from him

"Oh, my king. You can't love yet. Megumi was foolish to love a murder"

Oh but Megumi wasn't foolish, because Sukuna loved him too

"I didn't kill him! I-I-"

"You killed him. You killed him painfully and slowly. You killed him in the worst way possible--"

"My selfish king, do you feel better now that I'm dead? That there aren't any more petals in your bed when you wake up? It was foolish of me to love you, in fact, I hate you now. You killed me, why couldn't you love me? Why? Why? Why Sukuna tell me why"

Ah, it was a nightmare. Another one of those dreams where Megumi blams him, everyone blams him. Megumi's family hate him, everyone seemed to hate Sukuna. Oh but Megumi didn't, he loved him. Oh did his love feel warm, it was gentle and welcoming. Sukuna wondered what his love felt like. Oh right, Sukuna cannot love, that must have hurt Megumi. To love a man that cannot give, that only takes. Sukuna had taken everything from Megumi, yet he wanted more so so much more. He was a murderer, a selfish man that could not love his own Queen. Now that hunts his nightmares, it kills him.

________

He is alive
He is dead
But there is a heartbeat
Yet he does not feel
He is dead
But there is a heartbeat
He is alive
He is alive in a world surrounded by love
Oh
So he is dead
He cannot love
So he is dead
Yet there is a heartbeat
He has a heartbeat
There is a spark of love
Its not enough
So there is no love
No love
He is a monster
A killer
Why should a killer like you be alive?

_______

"Sukuna! You cant do that!"

"Oh but love, it's just to much fun"

This dream is pleasant, for once he can hold Megumi, at least he can love him in his dreams

"Sukuna, please! I didn't ask for this! I didn't ask to love you! Y-you horrible piece of shit!"

He was wrong. He can't have a pleasant dream anymore, not without his love in his arms

_____

"I'm giving up, I can't do this without him"

"You can't choose that. You are going to be king forever, with or without him. Suck it up Sukuna, you didn't love Megumi"

"But I did! I-i loved him...so so much"

There is a warm hand on his shoulder, he knows it's Satoure hand, he also knows the other man doesn't care about him. Only Megumi did, oh his everything

"He'll come back right?"

"In your dreams, he might"

Oh, but Sukuna cant dream of Megumi, just like he couldn't love him