Why was it me?

Why is it always me?

Meet our main character, "Little Girl" although her name may be strange, it is that she doesn't have one. She will be anonymous from this story, will be a mysterious character.

"Little Girl" was an innocent child, protected from all kinds of evils. Though she doesn't have any friends due to her trauma of being left alone, instead she created her own friend whom she calls "Tall white mister".  "Tall white mister" appeared in one of her dark days, he left quite a kind remark on "Little Girl". They became close best friends of friends, shared stories, cried with, and the hard times "Little Girl" was having, "Tall white mister" was there to help her. 

"Little Girl" 's parents were not so kind. Every time "Little Girl" cries, a loud thumping sound across the house starts playing, over....and over again. As if it were music to someone's ears playing on repeat, except that the person didn't like that sound at all.

Every time "Little Girl" weep her eyes out, "Tall white mister" would cope her and dry her tears with his hands, he's caring, isn't he?. He would always repeat his words, "Little miss is having her hard days, don't mind those hard days because there's a lot more road to walk in front of you" with a warm and soft tone. "Little Girl" would always place his words right into her heart and would always make her mind at ease.

"Little Girl" grew up to be kind and understanding to people that are different from her, race, gender, sexuality, personality, looks, it doesn't matter to her as long as you're a good person. "Tall white mister" raised her very well. Even for the past years "Little Girl" trying to get her parent's love and approval, she can't get a grasp of it even if she grinds herself all week studying, getting good grades, and being the "nice daughter" that she was.

Keeping her mouth shut and enduring the suffering sometimes break her inside feelings, more...and more.. until she doesn't know what's her purpose for. "Why me?" she asked every night, "Tall white mister" would always answer her question, "Because you wanted to know more about this world, don't you?. You have to live for me and yourself, promise me". "Little Girl" would smile even after a hard day, hearing "Tall white mister" 's words.

Knowing her place at the age of 14 she already decided the path she would take to survive this cruel world that cursed her. She had already planned her future even before it comes. She knew what was the difficulty she has to take and the sacrifices she had to make to get out of this dark and painful place. "Tall white mister" would always support the route she decided to take, he knew she was trying her best to stay afloat and was afraid that he would accidentally shake the damaged and worn out boat she was trying so hard to manage.

Until the motivation stopped flowing into her life at the age of 16 knowing she can't escape her fate. "Tall white mister" would always try to light up her mood, but as time passes it has lost its effect. "I'm soo tired of everything, I'm soo tired...soo tired.." she spoke to herself, she was a ticking time bomb that could explode at any moment, her emotion continues to flow and mix together, creating toxic thinking. She always kept a rope in her drawer in advance of giving up, but was afraid to lose her life soo she never dared to touch it.

"Tall white mister" was so hurt by what he was seeing because what he saw was not the little girl he once knew ,but a torn-out and tired lady awaiting her death. So then he spoke his mind to her, "Whatever you choose, I will come with you. Either its afterlife or eternal hell.". She was shocked by his words, she didn't expect him to give up on motivating her even though she knew it was no use. But suddenly her mixed overflowing emotions calmed down as if it felt like she can give up on the hell she was living on, and be set free from misery, be let go.

Tears started running down her face, her whole body started to feel light and the air was clearer than before. Feeling the cold air and her chest clearing up its held-up emotions feels like heaven for her. She stood up from her bed and towards the drawer, reached the rope she was keeping herself away from, and tied it to her ceiling.

As she grabs a chair from the outside of her room "Tall white mister" watched her from the distance, trying to keep his composure. There she stood above the chair, grabbing the hanging rope in front of her. But suddenly "Tall white mister" running towards her, slapped her hands away from the rope, and hugged her tightly between his arms, there he burst out his words.

"Please don't go, I still need you." 

He cried his heart out towards "Little Girl", speaking his mind freely. She has not felt this kind of warm and gentle atmosphere her whole life. She lifts his head looking straight at his eyes, "I won't go anymore, I won't leave you alone. You won't be alone."

                                              " All she ever wanted, is to feel wanted."