the way you drive me crazy

prologue

taehyung doesn't really understand it.

he watches his brother wave towards him and his mom with the biggest and stupidest grin he has ever seen. the fond look on his face stirs a little life in taehyung's dead eyes who returns it with a tiny smile behind his mask. though seokjin can't see it, his grin only grows wider, if that's even possible.

taehyung watches his brother talk to people with almost the similar look: bright eyes, bright smile. he doesn't understand how can his brother easily ignore the flashes and cameras recording his every move before something as important as completing daily challenges in genshin. (shush, taehyung has his own priorities.)

he flinches on the sudden outburst of the crowd and looks towards the large screen. a chuckle escapes his lips, almost sarcastic when he finds his brother on it. seokjin slides his shades down his nose and winks at the camera making the crowd roar. taehyung rolls his eyes.

"they don't call him god on the wheels for nothing." his mother says, voice burning with pride. taehyung agrees wordlessly and watches someone pass his brother a neon pink helmet and disappear in there somewhere.

how long. he's growing impatient. though he was reluctant to go at the stadium at first. ("isn't watching it on the t.v. same as watching it from the lounge?" "stop making excuses for not going outside.") but this crowd makes him regret leaving his room.

the people are louder again. taehyung realizes this watching the cars roll down the track slowly towards the staring line. like supermodels walking down the runway, sport cars of almost all colours of the spectrum saunter over the bold and dark road of the race track. among them in the 5th row is a mobile dressed up in the most eye catching shade of yellow to ever exist with the black highlights make the car twinkle better than the light in taehyung's eyes. different stickers from sponsors cover her body but doesn't hide how gorgeous she looks under the sunlight.

taehyung calls her bumble bee.

the crowd roars again as soon as the two streams of cars speed up. he feels a chill travel down his spine goosebumps tickle beneath tee the adrenaline rushes in and suddenly taehyung is glad that he is physically present to witness the view in front of his eyes.

taehyung watches the whole race, eyes stuck on bumble bee, on his brother. he feels his phone viberate in his pocket and completely ignores its existance (which is very rare for a teenager.) 150 plus laps and he forgets to blink his eyes. at the 172nd lap, bumble bee pit stops and it take almost 3 seconds which is long, very long. his eyes drags towards the ranking of racers and watches the name kim seokjin drop by 5 places. ugh

160th lap and his brother is fast and bumble bee is faster. taehyung's head kind of spins (probably because of his fucked up sleep schedule too) but it's okay as long as his hyung completes his promise of rewatching one piece with him after this race.

it's 184th lap when taehyung notices the presence of a neon blue car with white highlights close behind seokjin's. huh. after six more laps, its either behind or beside bumble bee and he hopes something he's thinking of doesn't happen. his brother skips the last pit stop he usually takes and taehyung gets goosebumps again. his fingers clutch the hem of his tee and he shifts to the edge of his chair. excited, nervous, afraid, he feels all of them at once.

at the last two laps, the blue and yellow car race along side. no one knows who will win the last turn of the last lap is around the corner when bumble bee speeds up and crosses almost half of the blue car. the crowd is louder than ever, screaming their hearts out as if the drivers can hear them. his brother's name jump a rank up to first and taehyung blinks.

and then it's silence.

the blue car has passed the finish line and becomes the winner of the 102nd piston cup but it doesn't matter to him anymore. taehyung watches bumble bee shatter like a house of cards.

it collides with the wall by the turn which tosses it in the air around 12 feet high towards the other side of the track. when it hits the ground, the yellow car rolls twice or maybe thrice or maybe more just like taehyung does when he's woken up early on a sunday morning. the tyres leave her body and fly into the air. on of them hits a car but it doesn't stop it from finishing the race.

taehyung watches the tossing car come to rest and suddenly forgets how to breathe. bumble bee is on fire but its his skin that's burning. it burns under his tee, under his socks and between his fingers. the lounge is vip stand is it burns his eyes. he hasn't blinked feels if he did, something more would happen. the fire reflects in his glowing eyes but suddenly it doesn't. his mom chokes out a sob and mutters something around the lines of "this isn't possible." people scream and some gasp audibly which confirms everything. chair legs screech against the tiles as people start to gather in front of the glass.

"will he survive this?" denial

"what's going on?!" confusion.

"mr. kim, what- will he be okay?" fear.

"this can't be happening." denial again.

it's still silent.

taehyung watches people rush towards the burning car with fire extinguishers. one of them opens the smudge black door and it drops like a peel-off mask.

taehyung watches people slide his brother's body -- breathing or not -- from the burning car and he wants to cry a little but he doesn't.

taehyung watches the back of the ambulance leave the stadium. the sparkle in his child like eyes leaves along.

taehyung watches the bright contrasting flames that engulfed bumble bee inflate and the front explode and its pieces fly away in every direction. he watches the colour turn from yellow to charcoal. she doesn't look like bumble bee anymore.

his mom rushes out of the lounge and drags taehyung with him. he lifelessly follows. she's saying something about how his brother will be alright but it looks like she's saying that more to herself.

kim taehyung, 17 year-old straight A grade highschooler who knows everyone in school and everyone knows him too. who lives because his favourite manga hasn't been animated yet feels something die inside him little by little with every next step he takes. he turns to look back, eyes a bit watery and watches the smoke cover the daylight and feels it cover the light in his eyes too.