I Fell In Love With My Bestfriend

For me, the hardest thing in the world is to love your bestfriend .. Isn't it painful to see your bestfriend love someone else ?? He was my world .. He was my videogame partner .. He's the only person that can make me laugh when I can't even smile .. The only person I wished I could grow old with ..

How could I tell you I love you when you're so happy with someone else ?? Maybe this is wishful thinking .. Maybe more of mindless dreaming.. I don't know .. Maybe you're just not the right person ..

As I was laughing my lungs out with the boys, I sat with him in the bench .. His face was so angelic yet sad .. I asked him " What's wrong ?? " . He just replied " It turns out, my girlfriend isn't available .." I was sad not because he's my crush and someone broke his heart .. I was sad because he's my bestfriend and no one should ever hurt him ..

We spent the rest of the day talking about his problem .. I wouldn't dare leave him on that bench alone .. I spoke with him nicely and patiently and gave him advice but it doesn't seem to be effective .. It makes me sad that he still wants a girl that could never love him back ..

I tried telling him the truth but it seems just too hard for me to do .. I just didn't have the courage to face him .. That's when I decided to not tell him how I felt and just be there for him ..

Months passed and he recovered from his serious heartbreak .. One night, he texted me and said " I'll come by there tonight .. MOVIE MARATHON .. " It was exciting knowing that we were gonna have another bonding time so of course, I made the place all presentable and clean .. I prepared food we can nibble on during the movie, set out a bunch of movies that I know we will both enjoy and of course asked my parents before they could leave the place if he could come by .. Gladly, they said yes ..

As we were watching the movie, this little conversation happened:

" Hey Lianne .. Did you know I have a new crush ?? "

*my heart breaks and sobs*

" Really ?? Who ?? "

" I really can't tell you but she's very pretty, smart, adorable, fun & cute .. She also has a dorky and nerdy side that you're sure to enjoy .. =) "

" Woah !! She's that AWESOME ?? ( </3 ) How long have you had a crush on her ?? "

" Well, I had a crush on her way before I had my girlfriend .. "

" Then why did you choose another girl when you could have your crush ?? "

" Because I was too scared of being rejected and being ignored by her .. "

" Why would a girl ignore someone like you ?? "

" Because I think she already loves someone else .. Besides, our friendship is much more important .. In fact, she's my BESTFRIEND .. "

" Wait .. Are you referring-- "

*kisses me*

That's when it all happened .. I wanted to keep everything going but he said sorry and left as if he was in a rush ..

I couldn't believe it .. HE LOVES ME TOO ?? How could he even love a person like me ?? I'm just a nerd !!

After the kiss happened, I quickly took my cellphone and texted him " It's okay. " Sadly, I received no reply ..

On the next morning, when I got to school, I noticed he was absent .. That's when I knew that he got hospitalized .. When it was our dismissal, I quickly went to the hospital he's in and went to his room ..

I was too late .. I can't help myself but cry .. I walked slowly to where he was lying down .. He may be lifeless but his face is still angelic as ever .. As I was crying over his dead body, all I said to him was:

" I'm sorry I didn't tell you that I LOVE YOU .. I just felt the same way as you did .. "

As I was walking out the door, his dad handed me this letter that says " To: Lianne "

Dear Lianne,

I just want you to know that I'm so sorry I didn't tell you how I felt earlier .. I was just so afraid that you won't ever love me back .. I'm so sorry I didn't get to reply your text because I got hit by a speeding vehicle which is still out of sight .. I'm so sorry that I didn't even tell you I LOVE YOU .. I'M SORRY FOR EVERYTHING .. I LOVE YOU .. 

Love, Viniel

That letter meant everything to me .. I had several absences in school beacuse I never left the funeral .. I just wanted to be by his side no matter what .. As of now, I'm helping his parents look for that driver that carelessly hit him .. I still hold of the letter he sent me everyday .. And I still send letters to his grave everyday to let him know that he's forever my LOVE and my BESTFRIEND ..