Nadie Necesita Saberlo (Nobody needs to know)

Time to take a shot

After that kiss, I gathered my robe closed and tie it tightly.
"Come with me."
"Where are we going?'

"To my kitchen. It's time to take a shot."

He laughed, a timid laugh, and I heard his slow and steady footfall behind me. I could feel his breath on the back of my neck. I tried, hard and unsuccessfully, to regulate my own breath. 

We both stood at the kitchen island, palms flat against the surface. I tried to stay out of his range of sight as I slid two shot glasses with my two fingers in his direction. I reached for the nearest bottle of whatever I could find in close range, Jameson. Not my first choice but I knew it would do its job effectively. 
"À ta santé" I said, downing the whole of it in one swift motion.
His eyes narrowed "What does that mean?"I pointed to the glass and instructed him to imbibe. He coughed and wiped his lips with the back of his hand.

"That's what we toast in Cajun country. It means 'to your health'. Ironic isn't it?"
"You could say that. Can we work this out? I mean what just happened-what do I need to do to resolve this? Do you want this? Am I imagining this attraction?"

I fell silent.

"We just kissed, Tura. I've never kissed-"
"Lin, I feel bad enough as it is. I can't...Are we just gonna go our separate ways now? Forget it happened?"
"I don't see myself forgetting. I see myself remembering. And wanting more. And punishing myself for it."
"What if we didn't punish ourselves? What if we just leaned into it?"
"Let's say....first of all, let's just lay it all out-do you want this?"
"Full disclosure?"
"Full disclosure."
"I do. I'm so sorry but I do. I do and I always have, even before I knew you.  I just kept e just kept shoving  it down because it's not fair. To you or to Va-" I got a catch in my throat that felt like tears waiting to escape."
"Shh," he said, and reached for my hand. "We can't just ignore our feelings. We have to follow them through until they subside. And-can I be honest with you as well?"
"Please."
"The moment I saw you-there was just something. I felt pulled to you but I tried to just focus on my child. God, imagine that. My child injured and I'm distracted by a beautiful woman. I thought I was better than that."
"What are we going to do, Lin? I can walk away. These feelings, they're purely physical. I'm detached from my heart and I have been for a long time. But the pull I have to you is on a cellular level. Every part of me wants you. I can't make it go away."
He came around to embrace me and kiss the top of my head.
"I want this. I'll figure out the rest later. I just want you to come with me, be with me. Just for now." He pulled the pin from my hair and let it fall, then placed a hand on my cheek.
"Let's go upstairs."
My head nodded quickly from nerves. My stomach knotted but every other part of me was on fire.

Round midnight by Thelonius Monk