Ultra Instinct Employee

The Strongest Worker

When I was younger, I thought I was going to be someone special.

Everyone always told me, "Clay, you're going to be someone when you grow up. Clay, you can be anything you want to be. Clay, you're going places." And somewhere along the line... I actually believed it. I actually believed my powers would help me excel through life.

So, please enlighten me— what am I doing still working at McBrown's?

It's nearly been a decade since I started here. Hell, I turn twenty-five in a few months. I'm not moving up in the world anytime soon, and I'm probably going to die in this same job, making the same amount of money.

My name is Clay Nathan... and I'm trapped.

"Ex-CUSE ME!"

Clay woke up from his trance. How long was he out? He looked around and sighed once his eyes calibrated and rested on the blond woman who stood before him. She had sunglasses on, and was wearing one of those crocheted sweaters that aren't designed to close over her white blouse. On her shoulder was a black pocketbook, likely filled to the brim with coupons and the like. "I asked if I could return this smiley meal!"

Clay took the box and looked inside to see an eighth of a burger and an empty fries bag.

"I can't take this back, ma'am." Clay handed the woman the smiley meal box.

"Um... but I said no pickles."

"...Then why did you keep eating it ma'am?..."

"Are you mansplaining me right now?"

"Am I— I'm sorry, ma'am, am I what?"

"Mansplaining is when you, a man, explains anything to me, a woman, condescendingly."

"That's just condescending explanation, ma'am— it has nothing to do with the fact that you're a woman. In fact, the assumption of the ideology is in and of itself, sexist."

There was a long pause from both parties.

"So now you're mansplaining what it means to mansplain, huh? You know what? Get the manager."

Clay sighed heavily, before picking up the phone to call for his manager. A little while later, Clown McBrown emerged from his office in his trademarked yellow clown jumpsuit, walking over to Clay and the woman.

"What seems to be the problem, miss?"

"It's ms. Anyway, I want to return this smiley meal."

Clown looked inside the smiley meal box and started crying out of laughter.

"Obviously not— good joke though! Funny."

"Are you getting smart with me!?" The lady started to lose it. "My husband is a cop, and he WILL get this place shut down so fast it will make your head spin."

"Okay," Clown took a breather, patting Clay on the back. "Show her the door, my boy."

Clay turned back to the woman.

"Ma'am, I'm going to have to ask you to leave."

This is where the woman became a full on Karen. She took the smiley meal box and dumped its contents onto Clay's head. That was enough to throw him off guard, so she followed up by grabbing him by the shoulders and pushing him against the wall with such force he was actually pushed INTO the wall.

"I want my refund, now!" She screamed. Now, the average person would probably be at least a bit surprised by this, but Clay? He was unfazed. In fact, speaking of phasing, he did so— right out of existence, leaving only his jacket sporting the restaurant colors. He would re-materialize behind Karen and uppercut her across the back, sending her straight into the ceiling. However Karen was able to turn herself around, launching herself down at Clay, using the ceiling as a launchpad. Clay blocked by making an X with his arms, but not before Karen sent his body halfway into the floor.

For some reason, being half underground seemed to piss Clay off. He picked himself up out of the pit, dusting himself off and staring Karen down.

"Maybe you'll be strong enough?"

Inside, Clay got just a little excited. The only thing that really brought him joy anymore was fighting, and you could imagine how well each match went. Oh I'm sorry, you can't? Well...

Karen used her pocketbook as a mace and swung it around over her head, launching it at Clay. He punched directly through it, sending her personal items flying everywhere. Makeup hit people in the eye. Change littered the floor. A jug of milk was in there for some reason.

"My stuff!" Karen panicked. The perfect distraction for Clay to get a drink. He went to the fountain and poured himself a sprite, drinking it as he walked back to Karen to watch her try and pick her things up.

"Are we done here?" He asked.

"Far from it!" Karen yelled.

"Oh, okay." With that, Clay poured his drink onto her. It hit her so hard that she slid across the floor, straight into the wall, and her head went directly through it. Clay walked over, took her by the legs, pulled her out the wall and swung her around, launching her directly into the sky.

"Wait, did she pay me?"