Letters To And From

The Funeral: Anth:

There's a lot of people I don't know and a lot of people I do. I would say it's about 50/50. I hold  Kade's hand as we sit at the front of grandpa's church. Looking back as people gather in through the doors.

The church is more like a cathedral. You know small, more intimate. Big coloured glass windows of Jesus and what not. I keep glancing at Kade to make sure this isn't overwhelming for them, but when I do they seem fine and I'm relieved. But I check in with them anyway.
"Are you okay?" I say tentatively. They nod.

"Yes, Anth. Don't worry all I'm thinking about is your dear grandpa. Nothing else." They smile. it's a little tentative but I don't press them because that would probably make them feel worse.

"Do you know most of this people?" They change the subject with ease.
"About half of them." I say. "Mostly old friends from his bakery job before he retired, some neighbours, his wife's friends. But shockingly no family." I let the sarcasm play off my to tongue at the end there.
"Sorry." Kade says with a hand squeeze.
"Don't be. It's better this way." I say.

I notice a man watching us. Looking at our joined hands. He looks apprehensive. He wears a black bowler hat and looks like he has just stepped out of a 50s gangster movie.
"I swear if he gives us a hard time.." my words trail off as I feel Kade tense beside me. I squeeze their hand.
But as the man approaches us his face softens. And he smiles. Kade relaxes and therefore I relax too.

"Hi," he says. "I'm sorry for staring, you just look so much like Aristotle when he was younger. Are you his grandson?" The man's accent has a light Italian twang to it.

I clear my throat. "Yes, I'm Anthony. And you are?" I ask politely. The man smiles at me and then at Kade.

"Harry Rose, I was a good friend of your grandpa's a long time ago, when we were nineteen we.."

Kade's eyes light up as they say;
"You are THE Harry. Aristotle showed us your letters and he spoke a lot about you, always fondly.." Kade Pauses. "Sorry I'm Kade, Anthony's partner."

Harry smiles and shakes Kade's and then my hand. And then he just smiles some more at us. I can almost feel the warmth coming off him.

"So If you have read the letters then you know.." he pauses and makes sure no one is listening. Even now, he is cautious. It sorta breaks my heart.

"We do, and I hope you know how special you were to him." I say. "He wanted Kade here to write your story. As like a novel."

Harry starts crying and it's that mix between grief and pride. He leans forward and kisses both of Kade's cheeks. Catching them so off guard that their reaction is priceless.

"Please, please do. I'll help you. We'll meet and work on it together. Please."

Kade is still so caught off guard that they just say. "Of course, of course."

Harry sits beside me after making sure it's okay. "After our wives died, Aristotle and I started to meet up again. We would do silly things like bingo, go to the horse racing, sometimes just sit and read the paper and drink tea. You know old man stuff." He laughs.
"But over the last year he stopped reaching out and you know I never pushed him on it.. never knew he was sick until I came back into town and saw old Bea at the tavern.." he trails off.

I'm awestruck I didn't know they got back in touch. How amazing. Harry studies my face.
"He didn't tell you?"
"He'd sort of been in a bad way.." my grief kicks in my words get stuck in my throat as the flashbacks of grandpa's last days fill my head. Kade runs their thumb in circles on the back of my palm. Somehow just knowing I needed to feel they were there.

"Sorry.. sorry." Harry says. "I shouldn't have pressed you."
"It's okay." Kade answers. And I nod.

"You two are so sweet together." Harry says and I welcome the subject change.
"Thank you." I smile at him and hug Kade from the side. And they rest their head on my shoulder.
"It's so wonderful to see you both so open about your relationship, two boys just un afraid and in love."

I look at Kade to see whether a gender correction is needed but I think they get what Harry is saying and I accept that, because they are smiling.
"We are still plenty afraid." Kade laughs. Harry laughs. I smile.

Harry turns serious as he says. "If any of this crowd give either of you any trouble.. you tell me right away. Okay?" He says observing the crowd and then coming back to us.
Kade and I nod simultaneously. "Good."

"Kade?" Harry says suddenly and it's like he is just remembering something.
"Yeah." They respond.

"When you first introduced yourself you said partner and not boyfriend. I should have picked up on that earlier. I'm sorry. Can I ask what your pronouns are so I don't offend?"

Kade and I exchange shocked expressions but then beam at each other because of course Harry is as woke as grandpa was.

"Why so shocked? Aristotle and I kept up with some queer groups when we were in touch." Harry smiles.

"They, Them." Kade says with a smile.

"Beautiful." Harry responds.

The service starts and suddenly there isn't a dry eye between the three of us. We don't take notice of anyone else. We just mourn him together. The service is truly beautiful and grandpa would have loved it. And I also think that he would have loved that the three of us shared it together.

I'm sure he would have been looking down on all of us smiling. At his three favourite people in the world.

I hope he is proud. I hope he is happy where ever he is. and most of all I hope he has found peace.

Because sitting here with Harry and Kade either side of me, I Anthony Russo, for the first time in my life am at peace.

THE END.