A bad life

Sometimes I don't feel right and don't fit in I'm not perfect I know, but no one is perfect. I don't have a wonderful life. I look down on my self and feel like I'm always letting my mom down. I'm always at my friend rayan's house because I'm happy there and i don't get yelled at. Some time I like being at school more them being home. I'm Amber bacon an i don't feel right In life. Some time I feel like cutting myself and that low. I'm fat and ugly. I just want to be skinny and pretty. The boys I like are Bill and Jake. I would really like if Bill really look at me like he liked me,he might talk to me and be nice but I'm NOT pretty. I would love if i also had a dad. It is hard not having a dad. I look at people that have happy family's and a mom and dad but I'm not that family. Some time when I see people they look sad an not happy and I just remember that that's me but mostly not as bad. People think I just hang out with scum but no I fit in with them. Like the people that are at my table at lunch. just like me, June's mom is rude and Sara's dad hits her, Payton dad yells at her like my mom and May is poor and can't buy new clothe an she has rip pants. I know to other people think they are dumb and scum but NO THEY ARE NOT!!

"THE NEXT DAY "

The next day I'm in math class and guess who comes up to me bill. We start to talk and out of no where bill ask me out!! So days go by and we are dating for 14 months, so we are going on a date for our 1 year and 2 months together. I think tonight is the night where we are going to have sex. So the night goes by and we are going to the hotel named holiday inn. So he grabs me and puts me on the wall and does not use a condom and we have sex, we than made out for like 15 minutes. And then I give him a blow job. And then he passes out because he has Aspergers it sucks!! And then he wakes up and we have sex three more time. The next month I miss my period oh god I think I'm pregnant. So the next day I go to Kinney drugs store and get a pregnant test. When bill comes home from work we do it together and it says I'm pregnant, "that sucks"