Overview
When you’re a little girl you’re supposed to dream of Princes and Princesses, and damsels in distress being saved by their knights in shining armour. Huge, white plumes of fluffy clouds; so light and airy you can’t help but want to reach out and touch them to see if they keep their shape or if they disperse through your fingertips. Breathtaking rainbows that hold every colour on the spectrum, the colours bright and vivid. The real world is nothing in comparison to your dreams, it can’t be anything more than a bleak and bland realm, the only colours it holds are various shades of grey; smoky and ashen. When you dream, your dreams should be fantasies, fantasies and nothing more.
But being a girl who was whisked off into a whimsical fantasy, was never something I had the pleasure to experience.
I’ve tried so hard to make the nightmares - that would scare even the most audacious of people until they questioned their own sanity - stop. I had hoped that they would go away, but they haven't and probably never will. I suppose to an extent I’ve questioned my minds welfare, but I enjoy it. I like the thought of being mad; it holds no boundaries, no laws or rules. They can't be controlled, adapted or change; they're free.
But my dreams always merge with reality, causing my life and dreams to weave into each other, twining like interlocked trees; lacing together in my mind, corrupting my brain and rendering my heart incapable of distinguishing fabricated lies from the delicate truth. Like a spider’s web covered in the mornings dew; fine, intricate and delicately shaped, each bend and curve is a new lie, with the cold drops of water accumulating in the cold, fresh and crisp air.
I opened my eyes to be swallowed in darkness; darkness so thick and heavy it seemed to claw and scratch away at my exposed throat. It was so dark it was almost as if it was blindingly bright, the ominous darkness began to compress against my body, robbing me of all oxygen. Gasping, I choked on what felt like daggers and knives in my throat, I clutched it, trying to control my breathing, but the tightening only worsened as my airways began to close.
The solid darkness broke away, not only releasing my body so I could breathe again, but sending me spiralling towards what seemed like a continuous void of even more unmistakeable darkness. I couldn’t see my midnight black, shoulder length hair but I could feel it whipping venomously at my face; searing and burning my skin. It was like skydiving, only inconceivably worse; the impact of suddenly hurtling downwards had knocked the air out of me making it an immense struggle to catch it again. My limbs weren’t in my own control; like a rag doll puppet jerked by the strings of a puppeteer. I could only feel my limbs flailing about recklessly against the air; jolting so far out it felt like my joints were being dislocated, anymore and I thought I’d hear the loud, stomach churning ‘pop’.
Falling…Falling…
My body smacked hard against the wet, dew speckled grass; the cold, slippery blades tickling the skin that my nightdress did not hide. The darkness was lightening now to a dark dusk, finally allowing me see. Closing my eyes I groaned, as the pain suddenly hit me from the impact of crashing to the ground. Every muscle in my body felt as if it were on fire, my ribcage so sore I was afraid to breathe, as my heart pounded ferociously, a roaring inferno worked its way around my body.
I fluttered my eyes open to watch the still starless sky. The sky was a dark purple, hints of blue and black tracing over the shadows. Slowly I rolled onto my stomach ignoring the agonizing pain; I carefully stretched out my arms gripping my fingers into the tufts of the grass as I brought myself up onto my hands and knees. Panting I finally looked around me…
Headstones, thousands of them.
I pushed myself back so I was sitting on my knees, wondering why I was in a cemetery, though after rationalizing my thoughts I quickly answered my own question. I looked straight ahead to the headstone in front of me and began to read.
Everin Summers
Beloved daughter
Cherished friend
September 13th 1993 – August 31st 2010
Thought screamed in my head. But I'm not dead, this doesn't make sense, I didn't die... I swallowed hard as a new thought entered my mind... yet, you're not dead yet.
