Defrost my heart

Chapter 9

Jason's POV
The days all went by pretty fast, and Jin was still in a weird mood. He hasn't told me why he's in such a mood, but I can't blame him since I didn't tell him what was bothering me either. Also, unfortunately, something happened that should never have happened.

-Flashback-
After studying with Noah and Jin in the library, I couldn't get Jin's question out of my head; of course, he tried to hide it, but who in the world asks google about 'heartbreak and the desire to have the person near me,' either he was in love, or he really was crazy.

However, I have to say that his question was also kind of interesting to me because, strangely enough, it made me think of Bryan.

He told me very often that he loves me, but not as a good friend. More than that. I have to say it made me uncomfortable. But as he gave me a kiss on my forehead, my heart also beat way too fast. I would never admit it, but it was just like that.

'Desiring to have the person close by...' I also want to have Bryan with me. But that's just because of our old friendship, everyone wants to have their friends with them, right? Sighing, I walked home, going straight up to my own dance studio as I did so. Dancing was my passion; it gives me strength and releases me from thoughts.

I do what I want to do there. So without changing into my dance clothes, I turned the music up loud and then started to dance mindlessly to the beat. It was playing by Chris Brown- Turn up the music. Only towards the end, I saw in the mirror, standing behind me Bryan. Immediately I stopped and looked dumbfounded at his reflection. Great timing. I was about to say something, but I was already interrupted by him, ''Before you ask me, your mother brought me in, and I wanted to see you," he said quickly and then scratched his head.

My heart started beating faster once again. Or not, I was dancing; typically, my heart beats faster. I only notice now that I have stopped dancing. Just then, my favorite song started, to which Bryan and I used to dance. Without answering him, I started dancing; I was still angry after all.
"Are you really going to ignore me now?" he asked, turning off the music.
I stared at him, annoyed. Bryan stepped closer and put his hands on my shoulder, which I immediately slapped away, "I don't want to see you!"

''Ouch. When you say it like that, it hurts me a lot."
''Save your words. I don't want to hear anything more from you. And don't come near me anymore."
"I didn't mean to push you. I'm sorry I scared you off. I think I crossed your line. I'm really so sorry. But please don't tell me you don't want to see me because it makes my heart bleed."

I wasn't really listening to him because my eyes were glued to his lips. What I found pretty strange is that they were so inviting. What would they feel like?
"Please talk to me," he pleaded.
I took my eyes off his lips and looked at his; they looked desperate and glassy as if he would start crying at any moment. Bryan averted his eyes from me and looked at the ground.
''Okay, I understand. I'll leave you alone now," he mumbled, getting ready to leave. But automatically, I held his hand. Stunned, he stopped and looked at my grip.

I didn't understand why my body lost its control once again. I wanted him to leave, so why did I stop him?
Bryan turned back to me and looked at me in confusion.
''Jay, what's wrong? You are so different."
I was confused. Suddenly his facial features changed. He started grinning crookedly and stepped closer.
"Can it be that your wall is finally starting to crack?" he whispered.
Why did he look so handsome?
''Are you fighting with yourself right now?", he placed his arm around my shoulders and got way too close with his face. His breath brushed my cheek, and my breathing slowed. Curious, I was already. I wanted to know how his lips would feel on mine. But was it okay to just test something like that? Indecisive, I closed my eyes and sighed loudly.