WARNING: This material may make you sick and may compel you to harm yourself or others. Read at your own risk.
For as long as I could remember I was always in pain. My life was far from one of a normal kid. Actually, it was normal for me, but looking back on it I begin to feel a bit abhorrent. I had family, I think. My mother was there until I was young, then she passed away, right? It’s kind of fuzzy. Remembering it is making my head throb. Anger, so much anger runs through me. Violent anger that I can’t understand. No that’s not quite right. What is it? Where am I? Why is it so dark and cold? Daddy?
Suddenly my body jerks and I look around the white room, it seems familiar, something I buried deep in the back of my mind. A man in a black suit is across from me, sitting cross legged in a chair, watching me and scratching some notes down on a clipboard.
Scratching…
Scratching…
Scratching!
SCRATCHING!!
I grab my head in an attempt to make the noise go away. There was so much scratching. I could hear it inside my mind.
“Are you okay?” The man asked. I feel like I should know him, but I can't remember his name. Has this happened before?
“Do you remember who I am?” He probed, digging for something, yet I don’t know what. “Do you remember who you are.”
Of course I remember who I am. I’m…I can’t remember.
There’s light, warmth, I feel at home. It reminds me of mom.
“Your name is-”
“I know what my name is, Dr. Allen.”
“Ah, good, I thought you had forgotten again.”
Again?
“No. May I go home now?” I sat up from my laying position and slid myself from the over comfortable couch.
“If you wish to.” He stands and leads me to the door.
The air outside the room was as it usually was, stale and bitter, just like it was inside, but inside there was the overpowering smell of some berry fragrance Dr. Allen likes. I walk to the waiting room and find my friend sitting on a chair, reading some popular erotic book. I cough to get her attention and looks up at me with the huge goofy grin she gets when she is caught thinking bad thoughts.
“I want to get out of this awful building, it reeks of insanity.” I look at the woman, she was so strange, her whole family was.
She had short back hair with bright blue streaks in it. How she managed to find a job with hair like that I will never know. Then again, her eldest brother is popular DJ. I’ve listened to some of his music. He is hardly ever home so I never see him. Her other older brother is going to college, he is the only remotely normal one of the family.
I watched My best friend run towards her car. Her short hair bouncing around her shoulders. The wind was blowing gently, whipping my long brown hair around my face. I was ready to go home. This day was unproductive, everytime I come here I never remember anything. At least I don’t think I do. I feel like I do, but I forget it. That’s stupid though. That dumb doctor always seems to think that I forget my name, how ignorant can someone be. I don’t even know why I have to go to him. I don’t remember any of my past, I get that, but I don’t know why it’s necessary for me to know.
All I remember is one day waking up in a hospital. I was fifteen, It’s kind of blotchy. I Don’t remember much after that.
“Cadence!” Julie yelled, pulling me from my own mind, and the road. I felt the wind from the car pass behind me. “Are you stupid, why would you walk in front of a car?” She shouted, worried.
“Sorry, I zoned out.” I smiled and rubbed the back of my head.
“That’s a good way to get yourself killed.” She sighed dramatically.
Get myself killed.
What is it about that phrase.
Get yourself killed.
I rack my mind in pursuit of the fleeting memory. Then it’s gone, just like that.
What was I thinking about? I can’t remember. What just happened? Julie said something, she was scolding me, but I can’t remember why.
I look up to the other female as she opened the car door for me, waiting. Oblivious to the was waging inside my head. This fight that I deal with on a daily basis. This is why that doctor is always trying to get me to remember my past. My head is throbbing. Why do I suddenly feel the urge to hurt her. I want to hurt her.
Hurt her!
Hurt her!
Do it! It’s easy, remember. All you have to do is let the instincts take over. Just like He taught you. Do it or you will regret it.
My eyes got wide and I covered my face, suddenly full of fear.
No! I don’t want to be punished. Not again! No more!
“Cadence!”
I snapped out of it, looking up into bright blue eyes, they matched mine, but mine were lighter. Were they? I can’t seem to remember. She looked so worried. I can’t remember what I was thinking about. What was it? Didn’t this just happen? I can’t remember.
Everything was getting back. Why does this feel so familiar? My body feels so light. Like I’m floating. Am I floating? Or am I falling?
YOU ARE READING
Don't Break, Sweet Angel
Mystery / ThrillerCadence is an eighteen year old woman who is dealing with repressed memories of her past. She has no interest in her past. The doctors keep saying she needs to remember, yet they wont tell her why. Or did they? She can't seem to remember.
