T͓̽r͓̽a͓̽g͓̽i͓̽c͓̽ - Norman × Ray

Pretend It Didn't Happen

TW: SELF HARM

RAY POV
"Hey! Are you guys even playing?!" I turned to face Don as he and the others ran over to us.

"Oh, is the game over?" Gilda asked,, walking over with Connie. Connie. This is the last day any of us will see her. She's so young too...

"We should call it a day," Norman said. "If we're out too late, Mom will be worried about us." He smiled. His eyes were pointed to the sky as if in thought. Beautiful, as always.

I'd known about my feelings for Norman for a while now. Almost as long as I'd been working with Mom. I'd never admit it though. We've been raised to know that a boy falling in love with another boy is strictly forbidden. Very strictly. I personally don't see anything wrong with it, but if Mom found out, I'd probably be harvested immediately.

"Someday, we'll have to leave here, won't we," Don said, interrupting my thoughts.

"This is an orphanage, of course we'll leave one day. By the time we turn twelve." Nat responded.

"Y'know it's weird," Gilda said, shrugging. "None of us have ever gotten any letters."

"Letters?" Emma asked, tilting her head to the side.

"Yeah, nothing from any of our siblings who've been adopted over the years." Gilda said, turning to her.

"Oh, that?" Norman smiled. "I'm sure they're just being considerate to their foster parents!" I looked at the ground. Of only they knew... If only there was some way Emma, Norman and I could escape this place. It's torture here, watching out dear siblings be 'adopted.' Of course, I wish the others could come too, but they'd be too much of a burden. I don't even know if there will be enough resources outside for three of us, let alone thirty-eight.

"But still!" Don exclaimed. God, he's always so loud... "We were brought here as babies! We're the only family we know! Even if we aren't blood related, we're truer siblings than most!"

"Maybe the outside world is so incredible that they've forgotten all about life at the house?" Gilda asked. I sighed, though it was unnoticed. I hate these conversations. Wondering what the outside world is like when we'll never get to see it. It's cruel, self inflicted torture.

"Well in that case," Emma said smiling. "Let's be happy for them!" Norman smiled at her. His eyes always lit up when he looked at her. I'd be pretty dumb if I didn't know why. I mean, he's always been really close to Emma. And she was always close with him. I'm just a background character in their love plot, really. I'm there for loopholes and tactics, and even then they're developing their own. Pretty soon, I'll just be another one of the kids in their eyes.

"I wanna go outside soon too!" Gilda whined. No, you really don't Gilda. You really, really don't.

"What would you do outside?"

"Get new clothes, obviously!"

"This again?!"

I turned away from the group, my hands in my pockets. I tried to walk away without notice, but of course that wouldn't happen.

"Hey, Ray, where are you going?" Emma asked.

"Like Norman said, we shouldn't stay out too long," I didn't look at her as I spoke. "Let's just go," I trudged off, huffing. My eyes were starting to water, but I would never show it. You'd think I'd be used to this by now, these conversations about the outside world, but I'm not. I can never get used to it. My family is so excited for something they'll never get. It's tragic.

______

That Night

"Ray, can I talk to you?" I didn't look up from my book as I lay on my bed. Everyone else was asleep. Everyone but Norman and me.

"Mm?"

"Ray, look at me," Norman said.

"Yeah, definitely," I muttered, trying to make it sound like I wasn't listening.

"Ray."

"I agree." I turned the page of my book.

"Ray!" I jumped a little, not expecting him to raise his voice. Emma shifted in her bed, probably due to the sudden noise. Norman sighed. "Emma and I," he whispered again. "We need to tell you something in the morning. It's important." He said. I sighed and nodded.

"Is that all?" I asked. He shook his head. "Thought so. What else do you want?"

"Something's on your mind." He said. I rolled my eyes looked back at my book.

"Don't you mean your mind?" I asked. He shook his head.

"Ray, I know you. You've been upset lately."

"I haven't." I said, not looking up.

"You have. Don't try and hide it." He stood up and sat next to me. I sighed and shut my book, knowing I wasn't getting out of this. "So, tell me what's wrong." I scoffed and shook my head.

"You may be stubborn, but so am I." I said.

"Ray, I'm just worried about you," he said, wrapping an arm around my shoulder. I shrugged him off and rolled my eyes. "Please tell--"

"There's nothing to worry about, Norman." I crossed my arms.

"Really? Then show me your wrists." He said, clearly starting to get a bit fed up. I stared at the ground, unsure of what to do. There's no way out of this question. If I show him, he'll know, but if I don't he'll know I'm hiding it. Its a loop. There's no way out. "Ray, please, Emma and I have been so worried... You haven't been yourself lately..." I can't tell him. I'll wait until the day that either him or I die, then I'll do it. I'll tell him how I feel. And if we don't make it out, I'll tell him on my birthday. Or maybe I won't tell him at all. Better he never know than hate me once I'm dead "Ray!" I jumped and looked up again. Norman was holding my hand, looking down at my arm. My scars were reopened; I'd probably been digging my nails into them. He wrapped his arms around me, pulling me into a hug, and after a moment, I returned it.

"Let pretend this d-didn't happen..." I mumbled. Norman sighed and pulled away.

"No. We can talk about it in private if you want, but I can't just let you do this." He put his hands on my shoulders and looked at me. "You're one of my best friends, Ray, and I--"

"I know!" I snapped. He looked offended. I sighed and shrugged his hands off my shoulders. "I know, I'm sorry," I whispered. "It's getting late. If Mom sees us awake we'll get in trouble," I layed back down and rolled over, waiting for him to get off of my bed. "Goodnight."

"Yeah," he sighed and stood up. "Night Ray." I shut my eyes and pulled the sheets over my head. After a long while, I fell asleep.

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Word Count - 1104
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