I'm losing everyone. Including myself.

My final hope.

I sit down in my bedroom. Lights off, darkness surrounds me. I've lost my family, my friends and even myself. The only one I haven't lost is my soul mate. I love them so much but my overthinking makes it so I assume that they cannot reciprocate my feelings for them. They don't have to. As long as they're by my side, I will never fall deeper into this spiral of abyss.

My knees up to my chin, my hands on my head. I close my eyes together aggressively.

I fall into a slumber.

The next day, I wake up. Its finally the day I get to see them. What will happen? Will they hate me? Will I lose them too? Will they accept me? Just got to wait and see.

Skipping ahead, I'm walking around my workplace and I see her. She's so beautiful, she shines like an angel when I see her. Maybe I'm just being obsessive but I would kill anyone to get close to her.
And oh how literal I was.

I hung out with her during my breaks and she let me put my head on her shoulder and she'd play with my messy hair as she spoke about her hobbies. The nights before I would research all the time about her hobbies so I can hold a conversation with her, I even took them up myself. Her hobbies are my hobbies.

A few weeks pass.

I go back into work, I still have a bedhead. I'm still too scared to confess. Thats when I see someone with her, they're laughing together. Who is this guy? He gives her a flower and she looks flattered and hugs him.

I will kill him. What does he think he's doing?

She looks over at me and waves. I'm caught off guard but walk over to her and greeting the guy. My eyes pan towards his name tag. I ask him if he lives near here since I had never seen him before. He said he lives down the road. Little did he know that I would be there.
I stay strong the whole day until we all clock out of our shift. She walks home and so does he. Not together.

I follow him. He walks down the street with his hopes higher than the sky. He enters his home. I watch him through the window, he cooks his food and I cook and hatch my plan. After he eats, he goes upstairs and hops into bed. This is my chance.

2am, August 12th, 2021

I sneak through his window. He's turned on his side with his headphones in his ears. He's texting.. her. She says she's coming over. Great. How great, she can watch me kill her little friend. He turns over and sees a glimpse of me, but its too late.