Have you ever just hated you're head, you're heart?
Have you ever just got in this point when you would just do anything to give strength to you're emotional and mental parts? Like when you just feel like you can't handle the weakness of your heart or the cowardice of your head.
I found this irritating.
As stupid as it is, as nerve-wrecking as it is, I was still doing it, like it was my job. I was getting addicted to it, addicted to let the pain control me.
I've been going on and on about it, I kept thinking about it, all the very time. I know that I shouldn't, I know that I shouldn't let my heart keep nagging about him, about Mark.
There was a great war, basically world war three, but it was only between my head, the team that doesn't seem to want to get busy thinking about something that might only cause pain to my heart. My heart, the other team, the one which will get hurt. However it was still begging me to give it a chance.
A chance to think about what we had,Me and my ex boyfriend.
The one boyfriend that I had.
The one liar boyfriend that I had.
But it was over, it was over and he left and he will never get back, I kept telling myself that for five pathetic years. I made a promise to my heart, that I won't let it get hurt anymore, that I will protect it. But it always found a way to beg me for breaking this promise, little did it know, my heart was the very only one getting hurt in this game.
I hated it, I hated the weakness of my heart, I doubted I can handle it any longer, and I hated my heart, for doing this to me, to itself. I hated my heart for loving a brick.
I got over him, geez, I got over him long time ago, but I never got over our relationship, I never got over my heart's weakness. Although it was the only one to blame.
That's why I made a promise. But this time my head was the one being promised.
"Spencer, it's dinner time, get downstairs" My mother's voice got through my thoughts, distracting it. I shook my head, let my feet kiss the ground, and begged my legs to the get downstairs.
The pain is over, I told myself.
A/N:
First chapter , there will be a Lil bit of changing. For the best, I promise. x
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An Obsessed Fan.
FanfictionClose your eyes, lay down and try to clear your head, do nothing but listen to what I'll tell you, exhale and inhale a couple times. I will start counting, once I reach five you'll completely sleep, magnetically. One, you're eyes are completely shut...
