Cameron x Nash Short Stories - cash -

A Place In The Sun Part Three

I decide to be formal with him, I want to appear as if I don't care even as my heart races and my palms get sweaty.

"Hello, Mr.Dallas it's nice to meet you," I reply and Cameron lets out a frustrated sigh.

"Nash... please." He pleads with me and I tilt my head and give him a look of confusion.

"Please what, sir?" I ask him and my eyes dart around the room, JJ is talking to someone with Jack. I have no out, I ponder just turning around and leaving but he'll probably chase me and I don't want to make a scene.

"Please... just speak to me. Like truly speak to me. I've been longing and praying for this moment for so long. I've been desperate to know how you're doing, if you're okay." He tells me softly and his eyes get shiny, is he going to cry?

"I am fine," I answer coldly. He blinks rapidly and then rubs his eyes with his fists. He looks down as he takes in a few shaky breaths.

I shift on my feet feeling awkward as Cameron tries to compose himself.

"Can we... go out for coffee?" He asks quietly and he raises his eyes to meet mine. I chew the inside of my cheek as I think about his request.

"I don't know, Cameron. What are we going to accomplish by going out for coffee?" I reply and his eyes search mine.

"I just miss my best friend," he says softly with vulnerability in his voice. I sigh and soften my body language as I contemplate what he's asking me.

Do I really want to go back down that road again?

"I hate myself." He states and his eyes drift down, his voice cracks. "I hate myself for what I did to you. I've been miserable this entire time without you, it's what I deserve. There's nothing I regret more in life than that night. I'm so lost without you, you're the only person I'll ever love. I have to live the rest of my life without the love of my life and it's entirely my fault. I did this to myself."

I don't know if it's the words he said or how he said it but I get the urge to agree and meet him for coffee.

"Fine," I say and he looks up at me in shock.

"Tomorrow at 9am?" He asks me and I nod in agreement. I don't even have to ask where because I already know. When we were together we had a favorite coffee shop we went to.

"Thank you so much, Nash for agreeing to meet with me," Cameron says and I nod again, I don't trust my voice. Just as he's finishing JJ walks back up to us. Why couldn't he have come 5 minutes ago when I needed him?

"Sorry to interrupt but I need to meet with Cameron and Jack. You're free to go home whenever you'd like, Nash." He tells me.

"Okay, thanks Jack. I'll see you Monday." I shake hands with him and then with Cameron before I turn and head out.

I have nervous butterflies in my stomach.

When I get home I'm so worked up I can't concentrate on anything. I don't even have his number so I can't cancel but I could just not show up. I take Benadryl to fall asleep and decide to see how I feel in the morning.

I wake up early the next morning and I shower and get dressed. I sit on my ratty couch and stare at the clock. It'll take me 30 minutes to get there with the subway and I'd have to leave in the next 10 minutes to make it on time. The butterflies are still there, they're even worse now. I get lost in thought, my mind wanders to when I was happy with Cameron. I was the happiest I've ever been when I was with him. It would be nice to have my best friend back, because he was. He was my best friend and my boyfriend. I don't really keep in contact with Matthew anymore and by proxy I lost our mutual friends, they've known him longer. I'm actually pretty lonely, the only human interaction I get is at work. I come home and cook myself dinner,I eat alone. It would be nice to have an actual friend again.