Will they? || Rudy pankow

I wish it was real

Y/n POV
⚠️Smut⚠️

A couple minutes later you found yourself in your trailer alone. Images and thoughts were flashing in your head, all of them revolving around that kiss. That kiss that didn't feel like a normal kiss, or any kiss you ever had before. That kiss had been pure magic. There was no other way to describe it. Alone the thought of it send your heart into overdrive and quickened your breath.
And that wasn't even the worst part, in a couple of hours you were expected back on set after a scene change and doing that kiss with Rudy over and over only half naked.
You had to calm yourself down right this second. Your possible feelings for him couldn't get in the way of your big break. There was so much more on the line.
A soft knock on your trailer door pulled you out of your thoughts and after opening the door you were faced with a grinning Madelyne and Madison who immediately snuck into your four walls for now.
"What was that?" Maddie C squealed as she sat down on the couch and pulled you down with her.
"What do you mean?" You feigned innocence and looked at them quizzically.
"Hun, you're a great actress but not that of a good actress and neither is Rudy," Bailey stated and raised a brow at you.
"Like, Chase and I had our moments on set and even JD and Bailey but we never got so into it that we ignored the ending of the scene," Maddie pointed out, big smile on her face.
"Guys," You groaned, just thinking about the embarrassing moment from before. "I don't even know what happened out there," You admitted quietly hands over your face as you leaned back.
The girls shared a worried gaze between them as they looked back at you.
"Are you okay though?" Maddie asked and patted your thigh lovingly.
You were so grateful for these two in that moment. You wished you could just bawl in their arms and let all your frustration out but bigger matters were at hand.
"Yes, I'm fine... well I don't really have a choice," You mused and gave them a reassuring smile.
Bailey looked at you with a sympathetic smile and closed her arms around you.
"No matter what else might've happened out there, you were great. Really really great," She praised you and you couldn't help but laugh at her sweet words.
"Thanks for supporting my kissing skills, I guess." The girls chimed in with laughter at that and you stayed cuddled on the couch until it was time to get back on set.
"You're going to rock this," Maddie assured you when she saw your faltering confidence the closer you got to that scene, "and then we can talk about it properly after you had some time to think."
You squeezed both of the girls' hands as they led you back to the cameras and the action. You were grateful for their support but the only person you wanted to talk to right now was Rudy. Maybe you shouldn't have split immediately after the scene and actually talked to him so it wouldn't be awkward now. But you were an actress after all, you could pretend to not care as much for just a bit longer.
As he came into view with his soft blond waves, where hours before your hands had been entangled in, your heart stopped for a second.
But he didn't seem to be too bothered as he joked around with the guys and laughed carelessly. Had you been the only one affected by the kiss? Was he just a better actor than you had thought?  The thought stung but you knew it would only be for the better. You could be just as nonchalant as him.
"What're we laughing about?" You chimed in and smiled at the guys. You cringed a bit at your overly joyous voice but couldn't take it back even if you wanted to as all eyes were fixed on you.
"Rudy just told us how terrible his first kiss was," Chase explained and smirked at his co-star.
So they had definitely talked about your kiss otherwise they wouldn't be on the topic, would they? You tried your hardest to look unbothered by it, hoping your face wasn't turning crimson again.
"Well, I sure hope that I wasn't your first kiss then," You joked, "For your sake and for mine." You bit your bottom lip as your eyes traveled over his face.
He regarded you with an amused little smile playing on his lips as he took you in.
"What? Y/N, as if. Yours would win all the most passionate kiss awards in the country," JD babbled which earned him a stern look from Rudy and an eye-roll from you.
"At Rudy's first kiss he actually accidentally spit a piece of gum-" Chase started giggly but got interrupted by Rudy pushing a hand over his mouth and pushing him out of your ear-shot.
"Would you shut up!" He warned him under his breath and you had to suppress a giggle at his antics.
You could imagine all too well what might have happened with the piece of gum and the poor girl.
For now though, you were just happy that all seemed to be calm and collected between the two of you.
Sooner than you would've liked however you were back in business and a dozen people were around you, giving you instructions, doing your make-up, positioning you right.
You loved your job, you really did, but right now you just wanted some piece and quiet.
You were led together into the bedroom of JJ in the Chateau for the scene. It was supposed to be a bit more intimate and shown more intense scenes than what Chase and Madelyne had done in the first season. You couldn't help but feel a bit uncomfortable but this wasn't the first time that you did something like this and you were sure no one would ever get used to that kind of film-making.
The directors sent everyone out of the room they did not especially need to make it as comfortable for the both of you as possible which you thought was infinitely thoughtful.
"You guys have the scene in your hands okay?" Jonas assured you as he went over it with the both of you. "You do only what you're comfortable with and stop whenever you want."
"Thanks," Rudy nodded at his kindness and dropped an arm around your waist. "You'll tell me how far you want to go okay?"
"We'll work it out as we go?" You suggested and he pulled you closer to him with a sweet smile. His lips met your forehead in a soft kiss and your eyes fluttered shut for a second at the gentle contact.
"You'll be great, I'm sure about that," Valerie gave you a thumbs up and then cameras were rolling.
Rudy's arm was still around your waist as he led you to the beginning of the scene.
"Promise me, you'll be honest with me when it's too much" He whispered, lips grazing the shell of your ear barely and a shiver went down your spine.
You turned your head slowly, eyes locking with his and the incredible saturating blue colour. You didn't realise how close he was until then. Just a step forward and you would be kissing him.
"Promise," you gave him your word and watched as relief washed over his face. A simple gesture as him making sure you were comfortable was worth more than any gifts and roses he could have gotten you. Your heart swelled as you looked at him, so grateful that everything in the world aligned for him to meet you in that way. The word 'destiny' was dancing around in your mind.
"Action!" You heard someone call and then reality was hidden for the next moments and you were back playing a part.
⚠️Smut⚠️
His lips found yours immediately, just as passionate as before if not even more, and your hands grabbed at him, anything to get him closer to you.
One of his hands pushed the door to the bedroom open as the other sneaked around your waist and you stumbled into the room, lips never leaving another.
"Jump," Rudy or rather JJ instructed you and you locked your legs around his hips as he grabbed your thighs. Goose-bumps erected on your skin as you felt his touch on the back of your bare legs.
The both of you were already breathing hard, as you couldn't keep away from each other long enough to catch your breath. It was like your bodies were melting into each other, always closer.
At last his lips left yours and you almost whimpered at the loss of contact but he found a new home on your jaw and neck as he pressed you against the walls of the wooden cabin. Your hand locked around his neck, pulling at the blond waves at the base of it when he met a particular sensitive spot.
"You good?" He asked and you weren't sure if it was Rudy or JJ asking you. The lines were blurred once again in your mind, but God yes you were more than okay.
"Yes, JJ, yes," Your voice was slightly hoarse and you thought you heard him moan as he pulled you tighter to him and lifted you off the wall to bring you towards the bed in the middle of the room.
Gently he let you down and hovered over you for a second, admiring your flushed cheeks and red swollen lips. He pecked your lips sweetly over and over and you pulled him in-between your legs, wanting him as close to you as possible. Your breath hitched when he discarded his shirt and you were met with the bare skin of his torso. Your eyes admired every valley and hill of his muscles and soon your hands followed, carefully touching the soft and strong grooves of his abdomen.
A sharp breath escaped him as your cold fingers met his stomach and he leaned back down, reattaching his lips to yours. His right hand found its way to your waist where your shirt had ridden up slightly and you gasped at the contact. His hand wandered to the small of your back, pushing slightly, a signal for you to sit up.
You pushed into him further, your chest pressed to his and he was fingering the hem of your shirt.
"May I?" He inquired kindly and stopped his actions to take a moment to look at you. His brows were drown together as his gaze met yours and you instinctively reached out your fingers to caress the worry of his face. You nodded willingly before you pulled him back into a short kiss and then he stripped off your shirt.
Your head hit the pillows once again and you felt his wet lips on your stomach seconds after. You were only in your bikini top and a pair of shorts now and you tried hard to blend the other people in the room out. Rudy was making a fantastic job of distracting you on that part.
You felt your heartbeat quicken, felt your breath going faster and you knew that this wasn't anything you could tell your body to do. This was a genuine reaction to this wonderful boy on top of you.
Your whole body felt like it was on fire and drowning in ice-cold water like-wise. You couldn't remember the last time somebody made you feel like that. The thought that this wasn't actually real was pressed to the very corners of your mind as you stared into Rudy eyes, his shirtless form hovering above you. God, he was gorgeous. When he looked at you like that and touched your bare skin with his slightly calloused warm hands, it was too easy to forget all the cameras and people around you. But all this was just in your head and you were playing your part just as he did. How you wished in that moment it would be true.
He leaned down further, one hand on your waist drawing lazy circles there and the other one holding him up to not crush you.
"Can I take your top off?" He whispered only for you to hear and goosebumps were flashing on your skin at the soft vibrato of his voice.
"Yeah," You breathed out and arched your back to give him access to the knot between your shoulder blades.
His hand was resting there for a couple seconds without moving and you grew concerned and pulled back to look at his face.
"Are you sure you wanna do this?" He was genuinely trying to make sure you were comfortable with the scene and your exposed body. Nobody in the world could've made you feel more secure in this decision than him.
"I would do everything with you," You whispered just loud enough for the microphones to pick up. You weren't talking to JJ in that second, you were talking to Rudy. The flashing spark in his eyes and the easy smile returning to his lips told you he knew that as well.
He pulled you up against him and sat up with you straddling him, so your back was turned to the cameras. You looked at him with so much adoration in that moment and couldn't help but let your heart fall for him just a bit more.
His eyes moved over your face, just like one of his hands, as if he tried to memorise every plain and freckle on it. You leaned back down to connect your lips and felt an enticing shiver down your spine as his calloused hand opened the knot between your shoulder blades and moved up your spinal column to your neck to remove the top from your upper body.
You welcomed the sudden cold on your bare skin, everything was too hot in that second. But as soon as Rudy pressed his own chest to yours, it felt like lava was flowing through your veins.
"God, you're so beautiful," He said between kisses and one of his hands wandered to your ribcage just below the soft skin of your breast, slowly caressing the skin there.
Your emotions were running high and so was your heart at his touch and his words. With your eyes closed you could pretend that he belonged just to you and nobody else was in the room. Just him and you.
⚠️No more smut⚠️
His bright blue eyes and how they crinkled at the corners when he laughed, his brilliant smile with his adorable too sharp teeth, his sinful lips that drove you crazy, his strong body the shone in the late afternoon sun like a god's. It was only him, him, him.
"Cut!" You heard Jonas scream and the magic disappeared like somebody had hit you with a baseball bat right in the stomach. You could've killed him right there and then.
Rudy hovered above you unmoving, still shielding you from the views of everybody else in the room and grabbed a shirt, JJ's shirt, for you to cover up.
"Are you okay?" He asked once again as soon as the shirt was over your head.
"Yeah," You smiled at him thankfully, "Are you okay?"
"I am," He laughed at your sweet question and pecked your forehead before pulling away from you so the both of you sat up in the bed.
Your pulse was still a bit too fast as you faced the team surrounding you.
"Okay, that was wonderful. You two did great. Are you both comfortable?" Jonas asked and you nodded immediately. You were a bit too comfortable actually.
"I think, we're gonna shoot this scene a couple more times, just to get some different angles and then just JJ and Y/C/N sleeping afterwards and you're done for today," Valerie mused and looked between the both of you and to Jonas. You all agreed and then the ordeal started all over again.
It didn't get any easier to entangle your thoughts of JJ from your thoughts of Rudy however, no matter how often you did the scene.
You were always just as enchanted by him as the first time. His skin on yours, his eyes, his lips, all this sent you right into an abyss of feelings and emotions where no return would be possible.
You had always been good at differentiating between reality and fiction but right now you weren't so sure if there was anything to keep apart. Because the way Rudy looked at you in-between scenes and during filming... it was the exact same passion and kindness in his eyes.