Remember This (Virgin River)

On the Fence

Walking through the back door of the bar, I temporarily watched the bustle commotion of the evening rush at the bar. Muriel, Lilly, Jo Ellen, Connie, and Lydie were all sitting around their usual table located to the side of the bar, voices carrying over the noise as they gossiped about town life.

I didn't stick around to hear what they were talking about as I headed upstairs. I was somewhere between ecstatic with my day with Brady, and needing another pill after allowing myself to get close to someone again. It was an odd feeling being so happy, yet being so dependent on medication to keep me from my anxiety.

Slipping my shoes into my hand, I locked the door behind me, grabbed a pill from the bottle, and poured myself a glass of wine from the bottle sitting on my dresser. I took a swig, not caring if I drank the whole thing along with the medicine before crawling into bed. I soon passed out, only waking to the rapping outside my door about thirty minutes later.

"Hey, Brie. It's Mel." I sat there for a few seconds staring at the wall as my mind registered why she was here. We were going out for drinks tonight for our girl's night. With that thought in mind, I scrambled to pick myself up, my body protesting from the rapid motion as I stood upright. It wasn't until I started to put one foot in front of the other, did I realize this was a little more serious than I thought.

"Hi. Sorry. I must have fallen asleep. Come in." I quickly walked back to the bed and sat down where I had thrown my shoes off earlier. "How was work?"

"It was surprisingly okay. Not busy as I thought it would be when we talked this morning." Her gaze glided over to the dresser then back over to me. "How was yours?"

"Good." Clearing my throat, I concentrated on zipping up the side of my shoes. "I do what I can to stay busy. Today I think I might have overdone it a little." Standing up, my body wavered again as I leaned forward to grab my sweater off the bed.

"You okay?"

"Mhm."

"We don't have to go out."

"I'm fine."

"Okay, 'cause you look a little pale." Leave it to Mel to point out I wasn't feeling like myself. In fact, I shouldn't have been surprised she was catching on. Even if this was Mel we were talking about, I had never loved the attention on me, and her doing so was making me grow more and more anxious.

"I'm ready."

"Alright. Let's go."

"You know what? I forgot my purse." We were almost to the door when I remembered I would need my ID, money, and a few other needed items stuffed into my bag. As I dragged it by the strap, I felt my knees give out and I was shrouded in darkness before being pulled back into reality. When I opened my eyes, Mel was kneeling on the floor beside me and Jack was hovering in the doorway. Oh, this evening was becoming the nightmare of my dreams. I never intended for things to go this way when I stepped foot in Virgin River.

"Brie?"

"Yeah." I blinked up at the ceiling for about ten seconds before rubbing my hands over my face. I could feel them shaking as I pulled them away so I could roll to the side. I groaned, not because I was in so much pain as it took way more significant effort to get off the ground.

"Easy. Sit here for a minute." Helping me sit down on the bed, Mel reached into her bag, pulling out a blood pressure cuff and her stethoscope. "Have you been feeling any kind of dizziness, fatigue, chest pain?"

"A little dizziness when I stood up earlier."

"When's the last time you ate or drank anything?" Slipping the stethoscope underneath the cuff, she listened intently while pumping and slowly releasing to get a baseline read of my blood pressure.

"I drank some water this afternoon. Haven't eaten anything since this morning. I'm not a big breakfast person, so it was a lot for my stomach to handle." I avoided looking at Jack, although his food was not to blame for this moment.

"Your stomach been bothering you?"

"Not until I started getting dizzy." I knew that wasn't entirely true, but I couldn't really explain things until I got the courage to tell people. Now was really not that moment I could, especially with my brother in the room. "Anyway, I'm fine." I began ripping at the velcro as I began walking to the bathroom.

"You're sure? You have really low blood pressure."

"Mhm." Closing the door behind me, I barely made it emptying what little I had in my stomach. I felt a little better, although I could feel the exhaustion returning when I thought about all the questions they would have for me. I could already hear them conversing in hushed tones, although my mind couldn't focus on grabbing more than a few words.

"Mel, thanks for everything. I just really need to sleep." Steadying on hand on the side of the bed, I unzipped my shoes and slipped underneath the covers without waiting for a response. The coolness of the pillows was inviting and somewhat refreshing. My body was more than ready to lay down on something cushioned this time, and it almost made me forget about what happened a few minutes earlier.

"We'll let you rest," Mel told me as she threw her cuff and stethoscope back into her bag and ushered Jack out the door along with her.

"Hey, if you need anything we're downstairs," Jack mentioned over his shoulder as I nestled more into the pillow. I could tell he was deeply concerned, if not more than Mel was, but there was really nothing more I could say or do right now that would assure either of them I was okay.