Cry me crimson tears

Only for him

Hi everyone! Ioana again :) First of all, I'm so so sorry for posting this update so late. I've just come back from holiday (where I didn't have any WiFi), and school started a couple of days ago, so I didn't really have much time.

This story is super fun to write and the other authors are amazing! Keep up the good work, girls!

I really hope you'll like this story! If you do, I post a few stories on my TikTok as well, so don't hesitate to check them out (my username is rocknrollbabyy). Enjoy!

  Sighing, I left Belial's room.

I needed to take a long bath to wash off Damien's touch and the reminders of my drunken mishaps.

I needed to forget all that had transpired that night. The dance with Belial, the way he had saved me...

How good his arms had felt wrapped around my waist...

I had to hate him.

I couldn't give in to the pleasing tingles that had crept up my spine when he'd enveloped me in his protective embrace.

I couldn't give in to those ephemeral feelings that I shouldn't feel.

This was an arranged marriage for goodness' sake!

My parents' way of controlling me – not the damn plot of a romantic book.

I shook my head slightly as I made my way through the deserted hallways – as if to shake off my thoughts. I was getting way ahead of myself.

We hadn't even had a proper conversation. And, had Damien not been such a jerk, we wouldn't even have been civil towards one another.

This was an arranged marriage that I'd fight tooth and nail to get out of.

Nothing more.

I was so distracted by my own thoughts that I bumped straight into a hard chest.

And just before I'd risen my eyes to meet his, a hand was placed on my mouth, and I was carried into a room – the click of the door banging shut echoing in the deepest corners of my brain.

A flash of a wrinkled crimson uniform and messy raven black hair instantly told me who he was.

But there was something wrong with him. Because his appearance wasn't as perfect as it always was.

"What the hell do you want?" I hissed when he'd let me go – my arms crossing over my chest.

He leaned against the door and stared at me through his long lashes – the deep bags under his red-rimmed eyes accentuating them even more. And I thought I saw his features contort into ones of regret and sorrow. But that expression left his face just as soon as it had come. "I want what I will never be able to have again after what I did. But that's a story for another time. For now, the only thing you must know is that I am truly, deeply, extremely sorry." He furrowed his eyebrows before taking two steps towards me.

I instantly tensed and my muscles reacted before I'd even registered what I'd done.

He gulped against the dagger at his throat. The dagger that had been strapped to my thigh merely one moment ago.

"I won't do anything to you." His Adam's apple bobbed up and down on the cool blade as he said that.

I didn't believe him for one second, so I pressed the blade even further – drawing a slim trickle of blood. A small whimper made its way out of his throat as his eyes fluttered shut, but that was the only reaction I'd gotten from him.

Normally, if I'd tried that on any other day, I would've been tackled to the ground before I'd even registered what was going on. But now... His regret was so deep, it was almost palpable.

"Kill me if that is what you desire." His eyes snapped open, watery from the tears that were hiding deep within them. "Hell, if I were you, I would kill me without even batting an eye. But do not hate me. Please..." His voice cracked and he cleared his throat, putting his stoic façade back on. "Of all the things that could ever happen to me, you hating me is the one that would hurt the most."

"Why should I trust you?" My voice shook as I took in the raw emotion in his gaze. I squared my shoulders and stared him down to mask my feelings from him – though the height difference between us didn't quite help my case. "Why should I trust you after what you did?"

My arm had fallen limply at my side – a bead of his blood dripping on the marble floor – but I could see the way my words had hurt him more than the weapon had.

If I didn't believe he'd regretted his actions before, I sure as hell did now.

"I cannot give you reasons why you should. Because you shouldn't." He knelt to the ground and bowed his head – placing his hand over his heart just as he'd had when he'd sworn allegiance to my father and the clan. "And I know that I have hurt you. I know that. I know that I am not worthy of you and that I never will be, but please. I am begging you. Please forgive me."

His voice had become nothing but a feeble whisper.

No matter how much I wanted to hate him... No matter how badly I'd wanted to hurt him before...

That was all forgotten as I fell to my knees next to him and wrapped my arms around his shoulders.

And I felt my heart break in two when they trembled under my hands.

I felt my heart break in two when I saw the man that had never even shown so much as an ounce of vulnerability break down in front of me like that.

He had hurt me, but, at the same time, he had hurt himself.

And I couldn't find it in me to despise him when I knew him, and the way he would beat himself up over the slightest things.

No matter what he'd made me feel, I had to be here for him. For the one that was the closest thing I'd had to a best friend.

For the one that had treated me like an equal from day one and that had been there for me through thick and thin, just as I'd been for him.

For him.

Only for him.