Fears Revealed

"You told her?!" Cat Noir's forceful exclamation rang loudly against the usual nighttime hum of Paris. The three heroes were standing on the flat roof of an abandoned building, having defeated another villain after a close call, in which Ladybug had relied on Rena Furtive to protect her civilian identity.

Rena Furtive backed away apologetically and said, "I can see you two have some things to talk about, so... I'm just gonna go." She shot Ladybug a sympathetic look before jumping down to the nearest rooftop and disappearing from view.

Cat Noir barely noticed her leave, his hard gaze fixed on Ladybug. "What do you mean, you told her? All this time you've said that our identities must remain secret, that no one was supposed to know, and then you tell Rena?"

Ladybug's heart ached as she saw the hurt and confusion on her partner's face, but there was anger there also.

"It's bad enough that you started leaving me out, with all your 'two person' plans and other miraculous holders, which, fine! I'm okay with you having other holders, but we're a duo, remember? Or at least we used to be. Now it seems you don't even need me anymore."

Ladybug tried to respond but Cat Noir cut her off. "Not only that, but it seems everything you told me doesn't apply to anyone else. You said heroes weren't supposed to know each others' identities and yet --" he stopped himself before mentioning that, thanks to Ladybug, Nino and Alya knew each others' identities, as that would've been hard to explain, so he added, "and now you've revealed your identity to Rena but not to me." He turned away and folded his arms in frustration.

Ladybug stepped cautiously toward him and tried to calm him down. "I'm sorry, Cat Noir. I didn't know you were feeling this way, and I understand how --"

"No, you don't understand." he turned abruptly to face her, his eyes flashing angrily. "How could you? You're the guardian of the miraculous now -- you make the rules. And besides, you knew all the secrets from the beginning! I'm the one who was always kept in the dark."

Ladybug stiffened, then tilted her head warningly.

"You're right, Cat Noir. I did know all the secrets. I knew where to find the miracle box and I knew who the guardian was. And then, I led Hawkmoth straight to them. Now Master Fu has no memory which means I have no one to help me figure things out. Now I am the guardian, and I've had to do everything on my own." Ladybug struggled to stay calm but she felt her voice rising.

"Do you have any idea how hard it's been for me? Especially without Master Fu? All the pressures and responsibilities of being a guardian while still trying to keep up my normal life? Having to lie and keep everyone I love at a distance so Shadowmoth won't hurt them to get to me?" Tears blurred her vision and she clenched her fists tightly.

"Having to lie until there was no one left to lie to and feeling utterly and miserably alone? I couldn't do it, Cat Noir." the anger in her voice faded to a more pleading, apologetic tone. "I could barely get up in the morning and everything I did to distract myself only made my heart ache more. I was crying all the time but no one could ever know."

She took a deep breath and squared her shoulders saying, "I did tell Rena my secret identity, but if I didn't, I don't think I could've gone on."

Cat Noir's face softened as the pain-filled blue eyes stared up into his own.

"I'm sorry M'lady. I didn't realize how heavily being the guardian would weigh on you. I wish you had told me that you were struggling because then maybe I could've helped, but...I understand now why you told Rena." He looked down and away with a sigh, but then straightened with a smile.