heaven is you (i never knew if it was true)

i always heard the words of heaven

— SEOUL,
09 DECEMBER 2020

drip
drip

riki could hear the contents of the IV bag, connected to his punctured right arm. it was the first sound that he had heard as he slowly woke up and had a grasp of the situation he was in. to say it was alarming was an overstatement as riki grew up in hospitals.

ever since he was 8 and found out he had an incurable disease that would gradually drain the life out of him.

he used to be a bright kid who would play tag with his neighbors all around the block, being the class representative in his grade, and caring for his two sisters back at home as the only brother.

key word, used to.

now back to the real world, riki would always wake up to the sound of his IV bag dripping, or the bright white light of the hospital room, or the nurses coming in to check if his vitals were stable. it was all the same sounds to him now, being 8 years since he was first admitted to the hospital. except, it was a little different now. instead of the usual view of a big white building from his room in japan, he looked out to the view of a bridge in the middle of a large river, watching as the cars' headlights laminated the road and dark sky.

life is continuing on. riki had thought to himself, a solemn smile painting his face. he slowly turned his head to check around the new room, his memories slowly recollecting. 'oh right, 'i had to come to korea and undergo surgery to find out what exactly is wrong with me.' the blonde took in a deep breath, raising his free hand to check if there were any stitches on his body. when he found it and realized it was small, he let the air he was holding in, shakily.

"oh riki-ssi, or would you like to be called nishimura?" the slightly shocked nurse entered the room. riki noticed the fresh IV bag in her hands and how his was almost empty, which caused him to worry about how long he had been asleep.

"r-rik-" his voice coming out scratchy, which caused him to stop talking, shocked.

"it's okay riki-ssi! you don't need to try to talk, you've been asleep for almost 2 weeks so it might be hard to suddenly do so. i'm kim mikyong but you can call me nurse mikyong, ive been taking care of you." the middle-aged nurse offered a sympathetic smile.

riki hated those kinds of smiles the most. always pitying him and never giving him a genuine smile. it's been years since he had seen one of them, a smile that was seen by not only somebody's mouth, but their eyes, cheekbones, aura, anything that wasn't with the feeling of pity behind them.

the patient had still offered a small smile in return, to show his gratitude. he knows how depressing it could be taking care of someone with little chance of survival.

he was a sitting duck, basically.

without saying much after, nurse mikyong just asked him several questions regarding how he felt and what he knows about his situation. 2 weeks seemed like a lot but riki had stopped caring about time a long time ago. what was time if it was only running out? eventually he'd have to leave and go to the so-called "heaven" that his parents used to always talk about.

his parents weren't even in korea with him, sending him off by himself because they were too busy with work. his mom only promising that she'd call and try to visit as soon as possible.