heaven is you (i never knew if it was true)

i'm not one to fall in love so fast

— SEOUL,
03 NOVEMBER 2021

riki woke up early the next day, even though he had 4 hours of sleep. nurse mikyong was surprised, to say the least. it usually took an hour to try to get the 16-year old up but he was determined to come up with a plan with jungwon a few hours earlier for their secret hangout. but of course, he had to lie and mention that he woke up because he was nervous of the check up in an hour. the lie got through the nurse as she gave a small smile and patted his hair, before walking out to sort things out before the doctor came by.

he yawned quite loudly, raising his arms out as wide as he could.

badump.

riki retreated his arms back to his side, quickly clutching his chest to somehow try to stop the pain and fast palpitations occurring in his heart. he suddenly gasped for air, panic arising throughout his whole body.

he looked from side to side to find the button that alerts nurses in case of an emergency. he wishes he had paid attention when nurse mikyong mentioned where the buttons were located. he was running out of time as his body began to feel heavier and his eyes started to drop. quickly, riki laid back down and felt the side of his bed. as soon as he felt a bump, he repeatedly pressed it before slamming his hand down on it.

he relaxed his mind and soon his body, once he saw the familiar figure of nurse mikyong. a sight he had grown to like even though she correlated to the number one thing he hated, hospitals.

the last thing he heard before slipping out of consciousness was nurse mikyong screaming his name.

_____

time.

riki had always loathed thinking about it. it continued on, indefinitely, while also being irreversible.

it was something he didn't have.

if he was one minute later from finding that button, where would he be?

and in all honesty, thinking about the future scared riki. it scares a lot of people, in general. but in their case, it was probably because they didn't know what would happen in the next years or even 10 minutes. with riki, he knew what would happen. there's no cure for whatever disease he may have. he doesn't even know why he's in the hospital when there is no cure.

he's wasting his only time on earth.

"riki-ssi?" a deep voice woke him up from his sleep. it was new, riki hadn't heard of a deep voice in a while as he has always been around nurse mikyong, or his friends. it also couldn't have been his new friend, yang jungwon, as he was deaf. wait, jungwon. waking up early to plan something. rooftop. shit, what time is it? riki slowly began to awaken. he opened one eye, knowing that he'd probably have to adjust to a bright light.

as his vision focused on the figure with a deep voice, he noticed it was his doctor from last month's check up.

"doctor?" the blonde whispered, relieved to not feel the pain he had felt when he first woke up.

"hey kiddo. give me a thumbs up if you're feeling alright?" the doctor hummed in response one he saw riki weakly raise his thumb. he began his debrief of what he discovered when he took a look at the unconscious patient. riki finally being fully awake and sat up to listen. he noticed that his clock read 8 a.m. marking that he woke up 2 hours later.

"riki-ssi, you still with me?" riki snapped his head back up from the clock on the side table. the doctor chuckled slightly at his reaction.

"so i'm going to come by again next week for another check up because of what happened today, but you don't have to worry about it for now. you're body was just reacting negatively from that excessive use of energy you used last night. it's not used to you being that active so you have to be careful." riki sighed, 'that meant no rooftop.' he thought to himself.