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chapter 5

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Weeks have come and gone and since that first time I had the nightmare I've been sent to therapist after therapist but none have really helped. I haven't been able to sleep much and you can tell by the dark rims under my eyes. I've been taking medicine before bed. The medication is supposed to help with sleep but all I feel it is doing is making me drowsy the next morning. My parents are now very worried about me, they talk to me like I'm a child but I can't blame them it must be hard having a child who wakes up screaming each time she has a bad dream which is most nights now. I usually just lay awake at night too frightened to face my dreams but my therapist says that is not healthy and I need to conquer the fear which seems impossible to do right now. My name has finally disappeared from the news and the reporters left my home four days after I was found so in that aspect everyone around me is moving on but me. I haven't left the house much either and my dad tells me that's alarming, I was supposed to go back to school two weeks ago but I wasn't ready to face anyone from my past yet. Today my mom is bringing me to the doctors to get a checkup again, she says she thinks I'm gaining weight and my body is finally starting to get on the right track but I know she thinks my mind is all over the place, which cannot be good. "Evelyn I'm waiting in the car!" my mom calls to me "I'm coming." I say grabbing my bag and running to the front door, I slip on my chucks and walk out the door and sit in the passenger's seat. "Are you ready?" my mom asks I nod "yes." I say and she begins driving. It only takes us five minutes to arrive and because my mom booked our appointment we were let right in to see Doctor Collins. I walk into the room first then my mom does "good afternoon." He says to us "good afternoon we're here for a checkup for Evelyn." My mom sweetly smiles at him and he nods "alright let's start with weighing." He tells me and I nod. I step on the scale and he adjusts my height and then scribbles my weight down "you've gained a few pounds which is good but there still needs to be a bit more." He tells me I nod. He then checks my heart and nods his head as he writes notes down, then he checks my blood pressure and everything else and finally says "she is a lot healthier than last time. It looks like her body is getting stronger and her heart is pumping at a good speed." He smiles at my mom "I have one question doctor Collins." My mom says and glances at me before looking back at the doctor "what are the symptoms of depression?" she asks him, and I look down, one thing I knew I didn't have was depression, sure I didn't like going out and I enjoyed being in my room alone with no one but I don't feel empty I don't think. "Well there are a few, always feeling down but constantly, never wanting to do anything, you would like being alone, lack of eating, sleeping and feeling hopeless." He says and my mom looks at me "she has a few of those symptoms." My mom blurts and I look at her "I'm not depressed." I groan "what does she do?" the doctor asks ignoring me"she stays in her room all day, she rarely eats, doesn't go outside and likes being alone." My mom explains and the doctor nods "I prescribe this, just go up to the counter and get some, they aren't strong but they will help." He says "I don't-"before I can finish my mom interrupts "thank you." She says and opens the door for me. We both walk out and go to the car. "I'm not depressed." I tell her "darling, the nightmares are getting to you, your father and I can tell and you haven't been yourself lately." She says and I shake my head "I already have to take pills don't make me take more." I beg and she sighs "just try them and see how they work." She says as we reach the supermarket. "Stay in here I'll be right back." She tells me and I nod my head with a sigh. I watch as she disappears into the store doors and I take out my phone seeing I have a Facebook message from Cora "Eve, I haven't seen you in a while, we need to catch up A.S.A.P" I don't answer back instead I put my phone back in my pocket and lay my head on the seat. It feels like hours later that I see my mom walking towards the car. I smile as she opens the door "what took you so long?" I ask "I was only in there for ten minutes." She says starting the car "it was longer than that." I say as she pulls out of the parking and continues to drive home. "I called your friends last night." My mom says, I look at her "why?" I ask "well I need you to get out of the house so they said to meet them at the coffee shop tonight and I think that would be great for you." She smiles and I shake my head "I just want to stay home." I sigh "you've been home for three weeks now, it's time for you to get back to your normal routine." She says "fine I'll go." I sigh running my hands through my brown hair "good you'll have fun don't worry." She smiles and I shake my head as we pull into our driveway. I get out of the car and go to the kitchen and grab an apple to bring upstairs with me. Its already two o clock in the afternoon and I need to shower. I sigh going to shower and taking my clothes off slowly and then stepping in the water. I wash my body and hair and then step out quickly. I dry myself up and then wrap the towel around me and walk to my bedroom. I look through my drawers and decide on an old 1975 gray sweater that is pretty baggy on me with black leggings, it was a bit chilly still since spring hasn't arrived just yet. I decide to do my makeup now so I wouldn't have to worry about it later, so I dab some concealer under my eyes and sweep mascara on my eyelashes to make my dull green eyes look bigger and I am done. I sit in bed and look through my social media websites until my mother calls me downstairs. I walk down the stairs and go the kitchen where my mom has a plate of pasta ready for me. I sit down and begin to eat it "I'm going to drive you to the coffee house at six alright?" my mom questions, I nod my head "sounds good." I say and then take a fork full of pasta and put it in my mouth, it tastes delicious. I take a drink of water and then set my plate down "I'm done." I tell my mom standing up "Evelyn you barley ate, get some more in you." She says "I'll eat when I get to the coffee house." I tell her and she shakes her head "you need to eat real food." I sigh and sit down again spinning my fork in the pasta, "where's dad?" I ask "at work why?" my mom asks I shrug "just wondering." I say and take another bite of my food, feeling like I was stuffing myself with pasta. I then eat two more bites "I'm stuffed." I say and mom sighs and I stand up and head to my room. I sit on my bed and open my laptop up deciding to watch YouTube for a bit. I watch Connor Franta and Tyler Oakley for hours laughing with tears forming in the corner of my eyes "Evelyn we have to go!" my mom calls from downstairs "I'm coming!" I say back and close my mac. I tie my wavy hair back and then take the steps two at a time. I put on my black converses and grab my purse from the stair railing and I'm on my way with my mom behind me. We both get in the car and drive with just the faint sound of the radio. I'm nervous to see my friends again sure I saw Cora but I haven't seen the rest of them and that terrifies me. My mom pulls up at the coffee house "do you want me to come in with you?" she offers, I shake my head "its fine." I say while opening the car door and feeling my hand shaking. My mom waits for me to go inside the coffee shop before she leaves and as I step in I spot my friends and make my way to them. They see me and all stand up to hug me "eve!" Rosaline shrieks "hey, long time no see." I laugh as she smiles and the rest of them greet me. We sit down at the table "we've missed you." Sarah tells me I nod " I've missed you guys too." I say, my hand twitching underneath the table "how are things?" Savannah asks "there pretty good." I lie " have the police came to talk to you guys yet?" I whisper, they all nod "we can talk about it later."Cora says and I nod "so what have you guys been up to?" I ask "not much really. Just school." Savannah says and I nod and take a deep breath trying to calm the everlasting nerves "it feels nice to talk to you guys." I say but its not true, talking to them makes me want to throw up as Sarah is about to say something the waiter comes up, hes young, probably around the same age as us, he has blonde hair and bright blue eyes "what can I get ya?" he asks in a surprising Irish accent, "uh just a vanilla lattee and a blueberry muffin please." Rosaline says and he nods and looks at Cora "coffee please with milk and sugar." She smiles and he nods scribbling it down, I would be lying if I said this boy wasn't the least bit attractive, it was hard not to become completely fascinated by him, I could tell he was new here because I didn't recognize him and everyone in Willows Landing town knew each other that's how small it was. "And for you?" he asks looking at me "huh?" I question and he chuckles "what would you like to order?" he asks "oh sorry hmm just a hot chocolate please." I say and he nods and walks away "what was that?" cora says lifting her eyebrows at me, I ignore her question "who is he? I have never seen him before." I say " hes new to town." Savannah tells me "my brother is friends with him, his name is niall." She tells me I nod "got it." I say "do you like him?" Rosaline asks and I laugh uncomfortably "of course not, hes just really attractive." I say and Rosaline and Sarah cover their mouths trying to keep from laughing "what?" I ask confused and they point a finger behind me, I swiftly turn my head to see niall smirking, and I cover my face in embarrassment and my nerves double in just a few seconds and makes my leg bounce up and down, he laughs and his laugh is loud and enchanting, what am I saying? "For the record I don't find you half bad." He tells me and I shake my head still trying to shake off the extra nerves "don't you have a job to do other than eavesdropping on tables?" I question lifting my head "I was clearing a table, it wouldn't be fun if I didn't eavesdrop right love?" he questions and my heart beat quickens at the way he calls me love, what is wrong with me? I nod my head and turn away. As niall walks away Cora gushes "he's so into you." And I blush and laugh "shut up he was just being nice." I shrug and they laugh loudly. My nerves begin to evaporate as time goes on and I find myself having a good time as I sip on my hot chocolate that niall brought me less than two minutes ago. "Oh yea there's open mic night tonight." Sarah says and I nod as a women goes on stage with a mic "well that's new." I say they nod. "This muffin is delicious. "Rosaline says and I nod "can I have a piece?" I ask and she smiles and rips a piece off for me "yay!" I say happily and nibble on it. Niall then comes back to our table "can I get you girls anything else?" he asks "by any chance do you have something with caffeine in it that doesn't taste like coffee?" I ask and he gives me strange look "like tea?" he question "no I hate tea, like something that doesn't have that coffee flavor in it and it tastes good." I tell him and he slightly smiles at me "how about like a chocolate mocha?" he says and I nod "that sounds great I'll take one of those please." I say and he nods and walks. "You're an idiot." Cora laughs "what?" I ask "why do I feel you were just trying to hold a conversation with him?" she questions, I give her an offended look " I generally did not know what to get with caffeine In it, I was just asking for some help." I state and she laughs. Minute's later niall comes back with my chocolate mocha and I take it gratefully mumbling "thanks" as he walks back to the counter. directing my attention to the front of the shop to see a man standing at the stage "let's give a round of applause for Kayla everybody!" he exclaims and I clap my hands " next lets welcome to the stage, niall Horan! " he says and then niall steps up with a guitar by his side. '"hello everybody." He greets awkwardly and savannah nudges me and I laugh, he looks around the room quickly and then begins to strum the guitar, the moment the chord comes out with the strumming I recognize the song as so sick of love songs by ne-yo, his voice sounds pretty good I have to admit and I find myself in awe, "Eve?" Rosaline asked and I snapped my head towards her to meet her smirk "yes?" I ask "did I disturb you?" she asks and I shake my head "of course not." And she scoffs "sure." She says with a roll of her eyes and take another sip of my Chocolate Mocha being satisfied with the flavor. Claps erupt around me and I look to the front of the room to see niall had finish his song and I begin to clap, he went close to the microphone and then says "thank you, next song I'd like to introduce is a little song by the 1975." And I'm pretty shocked he said that, he doesn't seem like the type to know who the band is. He then looks around the room and his gaze stops at me and he smirks and I slowly shake my head with a slight smile and then he starts strumming again. "Ironic isn't it?" Cora asks I laugh "shut up he probably listens to them too." I state and she laughs "okay after this song do you want to head to Rosaline's with us?" she then asks and I find myself nodding "sure I guess so." I say having a slight nervousness in my stomach but ignoring it. I listened to niall play and I hum along with the song, he sounded good better than others and when is song ended I wanted to stay longer and listen to more but Savannah was already pulling me out of my seat. We all stood up and made our way to the door, nialls eyes meeting minute for a few seconds before I was out the door.