At the end of the tunnel there's always a light.

ₜₕₑ bₑgᵢₙₙᵢₙg? Wₕₑᵣₑ dᵢd ᵢₜ ₛₜₐᵣₜ.

Main beginning.

Tw: My story may contain talking about suicide, sh, metal illness, family issues, od , abuse, sexual harassment and harassment as well as other things so please keep this in mind.

My intentions are to make sure I create a safe and friendly environment here so I appreciate it if you could try your best to keep it that way.

Enjoy.

When you look back at it, when did this begin? There was no start for us we just showed up on this earth with a life ready for us.
We weren't asked to be birthed, or so last time I checked we weren't... I like to believe everyone has a purpose in this cruel world. It makes you have a better outlook on life.
For some reason no matter how hard I try to understand my purpose it never seems to come to me. What is life? Why are we here? Why can't we live without having to worry about so much already? I ask myself these things everyday and as always get no response.
Life is meant to be this thing we enjoy and appreciate. We've always been told to appreciate life. Not everyone had/has the same opportunities as you, something you might hear a lot I suppose. Life has many meanings to it, but no matter how many good or bad thing's happen in life I just wish I could understand life itself. It's confusing I admit, I wonder what I did in my past life to deserve the life i have now. This is something I say quite often, it feels kinda rude to say that but I have reason to say it. I've always had life thrown around me without warning. I guess life doesn't come with warnings right?.. understandable. I've dealt with being completely left alone, humiliated, judged, compared, etc all my life. This is nothing new it's not like plenty of people don't go through the same things. That doesn't mean it's okay though. The world loves to normalize things that aren't supposed to be. Yet it also loves to judge things that should be. It's confusing how this so called life and world works. You can never do anything right. You slip up once and it'll always stick to you.

Sometimes i wonder how life would be if i was the version of myself that everyone liked. Would I still have the same emotions?? Yes. If anything it would make them worse. Life doesn't get better until you truly want it to. You only actually have yourself and no one else. I've had to learn that the hard way.

People and thing's are confusing. Always have been always will be, there's no way to change that but to accept it. Again you only have yourself with you. That seems extremely dangerous when the only thing you have is the thing you hate most. Like in my case.

People make thing's like talking about your issues and worries something weird. It really shouldn't be. Everyone deserves to take a break here and there. You'll burn out in no time if you never took any.

Unless that's what you want.... What do you WANT.....?

ask yourself that.

(Authors note: only a few words because I don't wanna overdo it on the first chapter sorry if it's a bit wonky but I hope you enjoyed cant wait for the next dookie chapterrrr)