The Ones We Didn't See

Electric Cars and Electric Feelings

1x24 - TOW Rachel Finds Out
The scene with Rachel's dream on the balcony is way underrated in my opinion. What led her to the pivotal moment when she first realized her feelings for Ross?

---------------------------------------------------------------

Rachel sat up in her bed, resting her head against the headboard. Under the glow of her bedside lamp, she slid the ivory pin back and forth between her fingers. She was in awe of the comfort and familiarity elicited by the beautiful piece of jewelry. It was exactly like the one her grandmother used to wear when she was a little girl. As she observed its intricate detail, she was flooded with memories of the carefree days when her biggest problem was an 8:00pm curfew.

She was shocked that Ross remembered that fleeting moment on the street all of those months ago. She happened to see the pin in the window of an antique store and had excitedly shared some memories of her grandmother with Ross, but she had long since forgotten the exchange entirely. Apparently he had not.

He's in love with me??

She racked her brain searching through moments over the past year as she attempted to pinpoint any signals she had missed. She recalled one instance the very first night she came to the city where he mentioned something about maybe asking her out, but she selfishly assumed he just wanted to live out a childhood crush. After all, he did not hide it well back in those days.

When they were in high school he would stammer and turn bright red while clumsily trying to maintain his cool any time he was around her. His nerdy haircut and mustache were enough to keep him at arm's length. But he also went to space camp and carried that keyboard around all the time. Her social status would not allow her to even consider associating herself with someone like that. She had all kinds of jocks lined up to date her back then and his infatuation was merely a game to her.

She wasn't proud of that now. He had become one of her very best friends since moving to the city. The afro and mustache were now gone and he had grown into a mature and intelligent man with quick wit and an enormous heart. He always made her laugh and he showed a genuine interest in their conversations. But that's just Ross. He was like that with everyone in their tight-knit group. Being attracted to Ross or seeing him as anything more than a friend had never even crossed her mind...until now. She had gone back and forth about him a dozen times since her hasty trip to the airport a week ago, where luckily he had already boarded the plane, because she hadn't the slightest idea what she would have said to him if she saw him.

On one hand, the possibility of exploring this with him sounded really exciting. He was smart, successful, charming, funny, caring, and apparently, crazy about her. She already knew everything about him (or at least she thought she did before her birthday party). There was no doubt that he would always make her feel special and loved.

But on the other hand, he scared her. He had been married before and had just become a father. She wasn't sure if that was something she was ready to get involved with at this point in her life. He was an amazing father though, and that was actually incredibly endearing the more she thought about it. Maybe that part would be okay after all. But what about all the pressure Monica had been putting on her all week? She was practically forcing the relationship into existence while Ross was still on another continent. Rachel knew the pressure she felt from Monica would only be multiplied when the eyes of her other three best friends were on them too. And what if things didn't work out? She had never really had a successful relationship before, so that seemed like the obvious trajectory. She was so happy with the new life she was building in the city. Trying to mix a relationship into it could ruin everything. If things ended badly, one of them would have to leave the group. It would obviously be her because Ross was so deeply rooted in the group already with Monica being his sister and Chandler being his college roommate. That would be the end to her beautiful new life in Manhattan. The last thing she wanted was to go back to Long Island.