his star

𝐗𝐋𝐈𝐈𝐈

𝐃𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐨

I like the water.

I like the feeling of appearing lighter than usually, the feeling of letting my body go, but knowing that I won't completely disappear. I like how the one part of my body is about to freeze while the other half is carrying a slightly warmer temperature.

My eyes are shut, mouth being underwater and only the upper half of my head is feeling the light breeze of the wind which appears even colder than it supposedly is.

Even with my eyes closed, my surroundings don't seem dark to me. Behind my eyelids, I can see a bright light shining in red and orange. I turn around until it is blending myself so hard that I wish I had another set of eyes to close, hearing how the water around me is producing sounds because of my movement.

The setting sun is shining in my face, feeling how the cold drops of water on my skin are slowly starting to take on a warmer temperature.

And then red turns into dark, giving me the impression that I started flying even though I'm just letting myself sink deeper to the ground, letting the water carry me. Only when my lungs start to burn, screaming at me that they are lacking of something, I start to motion my arms as if I were a bird, flying higher and higher until my mouth falls open, tasting the fresh air and the few drops of water that have gathered on my lips.

Now I'm looking, examining my surroundings and narrowing my eyes because of the fire the sun is sending me. I don't know if it really hurts or if my brain just assumes that I should feel pain while looking into the sun because mother always told me to not do that, to not harm my eyes. I don't know if I could look away even if I wanted to because right now, everything feels so surreal, so light.

The mountains are not triangle-looking anymore because now they also carry white, almost invisible, circles. No matter in which direction I'm turning my head, the circles keep following me. No matter how often I blink, the circles never disappear.

I start to swim, waiting until the path the circles showed me vanishes and when I feel lost once more, I direct my attention to the burning sun again, standing by until my vision gets blurry again.

The water is getting colder the farther I move, getting darker the longer I keep swimming and at some point, I decide to finally head for the shore.

My plan fails as soon as I see the moving object, the curly hair flying in the direction the wind blows.

The water stills around me, eyes focusing on the girl who seems so small and so far away but the girl whose appearance is so striking that I couldn't mistake her for another. I want to dive again, seeing the nothingness surrounding me just so that I can get rid of the picture of her. I want the sun to burn wholes into my eyes just so that I can pretend she isn't there.

Does she see me? Does she see the small dot in the lake that resembles me?

My blood should flow slower because of the cold, but right now it's rushing through my body. My heart should be working less because of my supercooled body, but at the moment it is beating in a pace so fast that one could think it is about to jump out of my chest.

I can't stay in here forever, so I begin to swim again, causing the image of the girl to get larger and sharper with every movement I make.

She is sitting down, looking at the moving object in the water and now I'm sure that she knows it's me.

Adhara is waiting for me.