As I sat on the waters edge for the hundreth time, I though about the crappy story that I called my life.
My past was dark. I feel like I went insane, because that one day changed my life forever. NOTHING! will ever be the same. I messed up, and I did a fantastic job.
I had just turned 15, I was just like any other teenager all I wanted was to live my life on the edge for a few months. But that's where it fucked up. Really badly.
September 14th 2009. Mum and me had a fight over dad being gone, It was so hard for me to put up with it. Mum put the whole thing on me, she said if it wasn't for me he'd still be here. All the times she'd said those words, it never hurt more then it did now.
I was on the edge of going insane. I didn't even understand what dad being gone had to do with me at all. Me and dad were closer then ever before when he left, I would come home from school and spend ever second I could with him.
One night he just packed a suite case, kissed me on the forehead and left. I was 13 and I didn't understand one bit. so everytime me and mum had a small fight she brought dad into it. throwing every hurtful word in the book at me, screaming at me telling me that it was all my fault. And still she never mentioned why he really left. Deep inside I knew, well atleast I thought I did. It always takes me back to the accident that made me so fucked up.
It was just after I turned 15 that I made the mistake that cost my bestfriends life and it took my little brothers. Mum went out to her mates house for drinks and left me home to watch my little brother, my bestfriend Leon came over and he started talking about how he went away for the summer and drove his dads car.
That gave me some ideas, me being the kid I was didnt realize the risk I was putting my little brother and Leon in.
As I reversed out of the drive way, Leon in the passengers seat and my brother in the back. I felt smart about what I was doing and I wish I could take it all back now, but I put the car in drive and took off.
I had no clue, I didn't know how to drive a car. It just seemed so easy. so I kept driving. My mate was laughing, my little brother looked like he was just going to burst into tears.
I said nothing.
I screeched to a halt when a street light turned red, only to realize a little to late that I was in the middle of the intersection. A truck took out the left side of the car. Instantly killing everyone but me.
The doctors told me how lucky I really am to be here, mum told me she wished I was dead. That's where my life crumbled apart.
I got so angry at mum for saying all the horrible things that she said to me. One morning I just got up and left, the place I called home was the one place I never wanted to be again.
I walked for what seemed to be hours with a hoodie over my head a pair of tracksuite pants covering my cold legs and a bad slung over my shoulder.
