SOUL AND PURGATORY

ONE.

The banging and crashing sounds behind my door startled me awake. I was quick to sit up, my fingers searching blindly across the small stools sitting beside my bed—for my glasses (I have been wearing them since 4).

The loud noises stopped and then, my mom barges in with urgency, shrieking in panic and fear, "BABY! YOU'VE GOT TO HIDEE!!!
I'M GOING TO GET HELP! PLEASE DON'T SAY A WORD OR HE'S GOING TO COME KILL YOU LIKE HE ALREADY DID TO YOUR DAD!!" She begged, pulling away our thick shiny-black rug from a corner of the room; revealing a hidden basement.

"No" I stood stiff, staring into her troubled eyes "I'll go with you to get help" I quietly said.

"NO!! it's to keep you safe! Don't you get it? I only managed to knock Him out, Babyyy, we don't have much time!" She cried.

Before I could object, she plucked me from my feet; pushed and forced me down with hastiness, giving me no chance to use the ladder connecting with the basement's opening—I fell on my back.

"Baby ... I promise you, I'd be back" She said above and the locks suddenly clicked—she was gone.

MOM WAS GONE. Again.

I sat on the bare muddy ground then stuck my head in-between my thighs, sobbing. Why do I keep been this way?
Ever weak and gullible, why don't I learn?

I felt my soul slip an inch further.

I had seen the Mail resting on the kitchen counter earlier this evening ... she had run off for another man. I squeezed my toes in the mud, tightened my weak and trembling knees together then gnashed my teeth in agony and pain.

This was the third time and It never seemed to be in the need of ending.
She always dumped me in and never returned; I would thirst and starve to death. I HAVE BEEN STARVING AND DYING FOR A WHILE NOW—AGAIN AND AGAIN!

I crushed the plastic recommended glasses in my small palms and blood from the tiny cuts formed.

When I'd be finally free from this realm between heaven and hell, was unknown. This was worse than the Underworld; reliving your death, been trapped inside your thoughts.

Why do I get to go through this heartbreaking event over and over ... wasn't I good enough?

I've tried and cried alot. The knowledge of me been forever trapped in here 'cause Mom doesn't want to accept responsibility for my death, was so unsettling.
"How do I ever rest or find peace?" I muttered in bitterness. My soul do not deserve this torture. I tried screaming but all that left my mouth was an empty sound—I wasn't ever going to be heard, was I?

Burying my face on my lean laps, I reluctantly let go.
I gave up my quest. My quest of making it to the City of Lights. I gave up the quest of finding peace.
I sold my soul to the Devil; if no-one would take me, he would.

What's the use of being stuck without an alternative to freedom? I know He, the devil, would accept me; I do not need qualifications.