Where the journey ends

Chapter 1 - Lara's perspective

TW - IF YOU ARE UNCOMFORTABLE READING ABOUT ABUSE/SUICIDE/ALCOHOL/DRUGS PLEASE DO NOT READ THIS STORY AS THAT IS WHAT IT FOCUSES ON

"You never even fucking cared then so why do you care now?!" I scream.

"I've always cared! You're the one who's never cared about us! You've never put a single thought into me!" He screams back at me.

Shawn reaches out his hand onto the table and grips his hand around a glass that's half full of water. I step back knowing what he plans on doing. He picks up the glass and prepares to throw it at me.

"Stop! For fucks sake Shawn!"

The glass leaves his hand and smashes on the wall behind me. I scream as pieces of glass find their way into my calves, shoulders and back.

"Oh don't be a pussy! It's your fault this happened!" Shawn screams.

"No! No it isn't! None of this is my fault! This isn't even your house!"

He storms out of the house and I wait until the front door is slammed shut to slump down to the ground and scream. I scream as I feel the warm fluid drip down my back and legs. Mum makes her way into the room and she stands there in shock.

A few hours later I find myself lying in a hospital bed with 38 stitches. My eyes flutter open as I wake up from the anaesthetic. My sister, Freya, sits on the edge of the bed looking down at her phone.

"You sure have looked better," she comments.

"Don't even start right now Freya," I reply.

She shrugs and turns off her phone.

"I'm sorry Lara," Louis says walking into the room.

I look at him. My younger brother, my best friend. Freya stands up, looks and me and swiftly leaves the room.

"What's her problem?" I ask quietly.

"Mum had a go at her I think, she deserves it though," Louise replies.

"Why?"

"She was being a dick about what happened between you and Shawn."

I sigh. When Freya and I were younger, we were best friends, we did everything together. But when she hit 18, she started smoking, sneaking out, doing drugs, and then she just left my life. She pretty much lives at her friend's house but we never really know where she is.

The next day, I am discharged from hospital and I head home with mum. Her eyes are ringed with dark circles and she doesn't say anything to me. When we get home I lock myself in my room. My phone lights up over and over again. Eventually I answer one of the calls, it's from my friend Racheal.

"Hey," I say quietly.

"Lara, I heard about what happened, are you ok?" Racheal asks quickly.

"Yeah I'm fine, who told you?"

"Your mum, she messaged me and told me what had happened and she told me that you might need some support and she knew that you wouldn't want to talk to her about anything so she asked me to look out for you."

"Oh, well that was nice I guess."

"Lara, you need to cut it off with Shawn."

"I know, I know, I'll do it tonight."

"Ok, well I have to go but please don't do anything stupid and please message me if you need someone to talk to."

"Yep, bye."

I hang up. My shaky hands make their way to Shawn and I's conversation on snapchat.

Me: Shawn we need to talk

Shawn: Look babe, I'm sorry, I know what I did was wrong and I take every part of it back.

Me: Shawn you don't understand. You say that you do but you don't. We need to break up. This isn't working.

Shawn: Please, just give me another chance.

Me: No, it's over. Good bye.

Shawn: I knew you never cared about me.

I leave him on opened. He knows so well that I care about him. But one day I need to take care of myself. I stand up and look at myself in the mirror. Tears come to my eyes and my heartbeat echoes through my body. I scream and fall to the floor. I roll around gripping my head. Eventually I'm on my feet and I shatter the mirror. Shards fall on the floor around me.

I sink to my knees and I feel the mirror shards crush under my weight. When Shawn and I started dating last year, everything was perfect. We were the dream couple. But then he turned 18. He turned to drinking, and I would almost never be able to catch him sober. He was always either drunk or hungover. After that, he became abusive, the glass he threw at me yesterday, that wasn't the first time it's happened. I've ended up in hospital multiple times because of him.

Louis smashes his way through the door and I turn to see it fall off of its hinges.

"I'll fix that later," he says, turning back to the door.

I nod and he walks over to me and helps me off the ground and onto my bed. He brushes the mirror shards off my knees and legs.

"You have to stop doing that Lara, at least yell for me before you shatter another mirror," Louis says quietly.

"I know, I'm sorry," I say through sobs.

"No, no, don't apologise, you did nothing wrong ok?"

I nod and I pick up my tissue box and wipe the tears from my face. Louis moves from next to me to infront of where the mirror was and I watch as he swiftly picks up the larger shards.

"No, Louis don't worry about it, I'll clean it up later," I insist.

He shakes his head and continues on picking up the shards. He picks up the last few and looks around my room for a bin.

"There's no bin in here," I say softly.

He shakes his head and walks back out of my room. I fall back onto my bed and I lie there staring at the roof.

"For god's sake what happened to your door?"

I turn my head and see mum picking up the door and leaning against the wall.

"Just leave it," I demand.

She shrugs and lets the door fall back onto the floor with a loud thud. She shudders at the noise and then walks over to my bed. She sits down next to me and awkwardly strokes my hair.

"Freya is here to see you."

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Hi again! It's been a little while hey, I hope you like this story, it's kinda dark and deep but I'm trying something different (slightly). 

IF YOU ARE STRUGGLING WITH MENTAL HEALTH PLEASE TALK TO SOMEONE, IF YOU NEED TO TALK TO SOMEONE BUT YOU DONT KNOW WHO, MY MESSAGES ARE ALWAYS OPEN.