Heather and Raven

Europe Is, In Fact, Not A Country

It's barely nine in the morning, but Justin appears to be sucking Maddison's face off. I'm totally cool with that. Really: she's funny and smart, which is a nice change from Justin's usual girlfriends. Which makes me sound like a total bitch, but seriously: his last girlfriend –Ellie– was genuinely surprised that Europe was, in fact, not a country. She also insisted for half an hour that it was. I've got no problem with being dumb –Lord knows I've made some stupid decisions– but at least admit you're wrong, you know?

So I like Maddison. We get along well. That doesn't mean I appreciate the fact that she and Justin are slipping each other some tongue before I've even had breakfast. And considering this is my house, I see no problem in flicking Justin on the back of the head as I walk past them to the fridge.

"Heather, what the fuck?" Justin incredulously demands, while Maddison laughs.

"Go do that outside or something," I say without turning away from the refrigerator. "It's literally nine in the morning, and I already put up with enough from you."

"Excuse me? I'll kiss my girlfriend whenever I want," he protests.

"Sure." I take out a half-empty bottle of orange juice, slam the door shut and lean back against it. Justin's ridiculously flustered. "But this is my house, and I'm telling you that I ain't watching this on an empty stomach."

"No one's telling you to watch," Justin mutters.

Maddison ruffles his hair. "Aw, don't be grumpy. Heather's right: this is her house, and she just woke up."

Not true: I woke up at around seven, but I heard some disturbing sounds so I pulled a pillow over my head and wondered if it was humanly possible to smother myself with it. Who on Earth has the energy to have sex at seven in the morning? And, like, why? Just why? Especially in someone else's house. Although, Justin is pretty much home in my house. I've known him since we were seven and we've been best friends ever since, so we're at each other's place all the time.

"Are the others still asleep?" Maddison asks me as Justin goes to grab some cereal.

I nod and pull myself up on the counter to sit beside her. "Raven and Drew were spooning when I woke up. I took a picture for future blackmail."

Maddison giggles when I show it to her. "Oh, they'll hate that."

They would. In their words: they have a reputation as badasses to uphold. And no matter how you look at it, snuggling while one party is wearing a Pikachu shirt and the other's hair is decorated with a bunch of his little sister's clips is not exactly badass. I think it's cute, though.

Justin leans over to glance at the picture as well. "Aw, they're adorable. I'm never going to let them live this down."

"You," I say, pointing at him, "are going to shut up until there's a good occasion to use this blackmail."

"Exactly," Maddison agrees. "This is perfect blackmail material, and you're not going to ruin it."

Justin frowns and looks up at her. "Whose side are you on?"

Maddison rolls her eyes. "Stupid question: Heather's, of course."

See? Maddison is nice.

"Great," Justin groans, looking as if he's wondering if he could drown himself in his cereal. "My girlfriend likes my best friend better than she likes me."

"It's a good thing, then, that I don't have to like you," Maddison says, smiling mysteriously.

"You don't?" Justin asks, frown deepening with his confusion.

"Nope. I just have to love you."

Justin starts grinning like an idiot, so I leap off the counter and flee the kitchen before they can start making out again. I close the door behind me and spend a few minutes looking for the remote before flopping down on the couch to watch the usual Saturday morning cartoons. I'll be turning eighteen in the fall, but God, I still love Tom And Jerry.

"Real mature, Clark," someone says when I snort at a dumb joke.

I don't have to look to know it's Raven standing at the bottom of the stairs. "Bold, coming from the guy who's literally wearing a Pikachu shirt."

"Pokémon is for all ages," Raven says as he comes to sit beside me.

"So is Tom And Jerry," I retort. "Now, shut up so I can understand what's going on."

"Heather," Raven says, sounding as if he was on the verge of laughter. "You do realize they don't speak in those cartoons, right?"

I roll my eyes. "Of course I do. Your talking is distracting me."

He gets up. "Alright, someone hasn't had her morning coffee yet. Speaking of which, I'm gonna go grab some."

"Wouldn't do that if I were you," I say, not looking away from the screen.

"Why not?"

"Maddie and Justin might be having sex on the kitchen table," I reply, trying not to laugh when Jerry drops an anvil on Tom.

"Might be?" Raven asks as he sits back down, and I can practically hear his eyebrows raise.

I wave a hand around in a vague gesture. "She told him she loves him. They might be making out, or they're having really quiet sex."

Raven immediately drops back down on the couch. "Nope. Gathering from what I heard this morning, I don't think they're capable of quiet sex."

That finally causes me to look over at him with wide eyes. "There's no way you heard that."

His eyebrows draw together. "Why wouldn't I have heard them? Like I said, they're not exactly quiet."

"You were sleeping!"

"Uh, no I wasn't?"

"Yes, you were! Unless you mean to tell me you were completely conscious when you and Drew decided to start spooning."

"I did what?" His voice actually jumps an octave.

"Technically, he spooned you," I correct myself. "Though that probably doesn't make it much better. Well, not for your fragile ego anyway. It does wonders for my amusement, though."

"I- my fragile ego?" he repeats, his voice still discovering new heights but now with disbelief. "If Drew decided to hug me while we were both asleep, that isn't my fault!"

"Look, honey, I don't care whose fault it is. I just know it was hilarious to see, and Maddie and Justin agree."

"What do you mean, they agree?" A look of horror descends on his face, so quickly it's almost as funny as the picture. "Oh no. Tell me you didn't."

I give him my most wicked grin. "Oh, but I did."

Raven clenches his jaw. "Delete it."

"Nope. This is perfect blackmail material."

"Heather, I swear to God, I will smother you with a pillow if you don't delete that picture."

I throw my head back and laugh. "That would make you the second person to try so today. And as you can see, the previous one wasn't very successful."

Never mind that that was me.

Raven seemingly lets it go, but I know him well enough to know I should brace myself for some sort of revenge sometime soon.

"Are Drew and Kate still sleeping?" I ask eventually.

"Yeah," he replies curtly.

Not wanting to test his patience, I don't press the matter. I'm pretty sure I'm the only one who's noticed Raven's envy towards Drew and his crush on Kate. I'm also pretty sure that the only reason I did, was because it's exactly how I feel about Maddison and Justin. Aside from mild homicidal tendencies and a love for cartoons, Raven and I don't have much in common. But this is one thing that we share: we are both utterly and hopelessly in love with our taken best friends.

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