I woke up twice the following morning. The first time it was to Luke's arms wrapped around me, his musky scent filling my senses. The second time was to yelling. There was a cold spot next to me and the two male voices almost sounded like they were growling at each other.
I got up slowly from my spot on the bed and brushed my hair out of my face. The door was only open ajar and I felt that going out was just going to make matters worse so I creeped over to the door and listened closely.
"You don't deserve to be near her after putting her through that", Luke, I presume snarled.
"Put her through what?" The other person asked incredulously. It sounded like Stiles.
"Put her through what", Luke scoffed. "I know you were the one who called the paparazzi on that date".
"You called that a date? Maybe to you mate", Stiles responded.
The thought crossed my mind that there could be a possibility that Stiles was the one who called the paparazzi. But I didn't even think that he would go to that extent. Luke obviously felt very strongly about the assumption.
"Stiles, leave. If Tina wants to see you, she'll go to you", Luke told him sternly. I got chills from his voice and I realized there's two sides to Luke.
I heard someone clear their throat and the door close. I leaned against the wall and waited. When I heard Luke start to walk down the hall I stayed where I was. For some reason I was too tired to move.
Luke opened the door and jumped slightly when he saw me leaning against the wall next to it. He smiled sleepily at me before asking, "how much did you hear?"
I sighed before responding, "I'm trying to will myself to believe he wasn't the one who called the paparazzi Luke". To be fair, it probably was. But I just wanted to think of the possibility that there wasn't the jealousy induced Stiles in there somewhere.
"Who else knew we were going on that date, Bea?" He looked me in the eyes and it took everything in me to not just go up and kiss him.
"I mean...Taylor knew...but she wouldn't call the paparazzi. And there was that guy who took a picture of us, maybe he told someone", I defended but we both knew what had happened. "I thought he was different", I whispered.
I looked down before feeling arms wrap around me softly. I snuggled myself into Luke's chest and just tried to remember what it would be like just to be here.
I pulled away before looking up to Luke and almost memorizing every single part of his face. How his stubble just barely went over his top lip. And how his lip ring was always crooked and how his lips were so thin. Almost too small for his ring, and how when he smiles his laughter lines were so distinct. How his eyes were a light blue in the morning and a dark blue at night, or so they seemed to be. How his hair curled around his temples and neck and his eyebrows lifted like an arch. And how when he laughed his nose crinkled up just like mine. Or his personality. How he's so happy and willing all the time, but at the same time awkward and shy. How he'd probably do anything for me or always wanting to protect me. Or even how he loves me even though I'm not all that great, just a simple girl. But through my flaws, he still sees me as the girl he adores. I recognized all of these things before leaning up and kissing him. Although I love all of these things about him...I'm scared I don't love him.
--
"You weren't hallucinating right?" Taylor asked me. I took another bite of ice cream and sniffled.
"About the 'I love you' or all the hate?" I had called Taylor to tell her about Luke, and in the process realized that the fans had found my Twitter/Instagram/tumblr ect. and along with it came so much hate. Most of the people that commented were really nice, but once I got to the hard stuff, they were all just so desperate to hurt me.
I wanted to go to Luke about it but I knew that he dealt with stuff like that all the time and he wouldn't be able to help me. The best advice he'd give would be "just get over it". So I called Taylor and told her about it. She came over with ice cream and chocolate, knowing that I couldn't just get over it.
"The 'I love you'", she inquired and I shook my head. "I mean you were pretty tired, maybe it was just your brain being all lovey dovey or something".
I shook my head again. "No, I definitely heard it. If you asked him if he loves me he'll probably tell you. You're like his best friend wingman type of person", I suggested and scooped up some more ice cream.
"By the way that Luke looks at you, it's probably love, I'll admit it. But I don't want you two rushing into anything"
"I'm not the one rushing! That's the thing", I groaned and lied down on my bed. "I don't think I love him", I admitted and heard a sigh from the end of the bed.
"You poor soul", Taylor said and I chuckled. "I'll ask him", I sat up and smiled at her. "Thank you", I said softly.
--
When Luke came home he walked in on me scrolling through all of the comments on my most recent selfie. It was me and Stiles the day before I left Australia. I wanted to delete it so bad but now if I do, everyone's gonna think something's up.
@Sammy567 : but I thought she was dating Luke..? Who is this?
Why would she think that I wasn't? It clearly says on the caption: I'll miss you, my bff !
@/lukes_love65: She's really pretty ! Luke is lucky <3
I smiled at the comment but suddenly frowned coming upon another one.
@/gabriella6: ew slut. you have Luke, keep your fucking legs closed.
I locked my phone and put it on the bedside table. The mattress sunk beside and Lucas appeared in front of me, lookind down at me. His hair hung from his face and he smiled at me. He had just gotten back from recording and he looked like he had a really good time. I didn't want to ruin that for him.
"How was recording?" I asked and he fell back into the bed and sighed.
"The fans are gonna love it", he replied with ease. I nodded and turned towards the light, seeing the notifications pop up on my phone. I haven't gotten to changing my settings yet so they all just piled on.
I felt an arm wrap around my waist and Luke nuzzled his head into the crook of my neck. "you're popular", he admitted.
"Not in a good way", I whimpered and could almost feel the tears coming again. I sat up and cleared my throat. "I'll go order us some dinner...Chinese sound good?" I turned to look at him and he had a worried look on his face. I just smiled at him and he just nodded.
I got up and walked slowly to the door but sped walked to the bathroom. I closed the door and locked and just leaned against the cold doorframe.
The tears fell- silently. As I closed my eyes because of the burning that was filling them. I have always dealt with being the underdog and once I was through with high school and college I thought I would be fine. But of course I got myself into this.
The real reason I was sad was because I didn't want to hurt Luke. It seemed like my pain hurt him and I didn't like that. I wanted to help him be successful in his career.
I was crying because I knew this was never going to last.
--
Holy shit guys
This was a sad chapter sorry
But I wanted to explore the different parts of being Luke's girlfriend and what not.
Also Zayn LEFT ONE DIRECTION (fuck management) and that made me really fucking sad.
Also my sister dyed my hair and it looks really fucking bad soooooooooo yeah I'm having a hard time coping
BUT I NEED YOUR HELP BECAUSE IM ALMOST AT 1.2K ON VINE SO FOLLOW ME IF YOU WANT ITS sunny no ❤️
I love you guys ❤️
