Better Off Dead (boyxboy) (Kellic)

A Trophy Fathers Trophy Son

I can't stop. So many times I've tried but its too hard. I go deeper and deeper each time. I wish I could but I just can't. It hurts me but I can honestly say that I don't care. I dont care that i am hurting. I don't care that people are going to see them and judge me. Fuck, I don't even know these people so why should I care? I tell myself over and over 'you're just hurting yourself more than before' but I don't listen, I just cut. That's my only release. My only escape.

Father father tell me where have you been?

Its been hell not having you here.

I've been missing you so bad,

And you don't seem to care

When I go to sleep at night

You're not there

When I go to sleep at night

Do you care?

Do you even miss us

Your bottles, your mistress

I need to know, I need to know

Why are you walking away?

Was it something I did?

Did I make a mistake cause

I'm trying to deal with the pain

I don't understand this

Is this how it ends?

I will try to understand

I wrote in my notebook. I enjoy writing these things. After I well, you know, take out my anger and pain, I write it down. Its sorta like my thoughts. The reason I cut I guess.

On random occasions, I find the notebook and read through it. I tend to look and see if I was being over dramatic. Once, I recut because of the same thing. I'm pathetic I know. Don't remind me. I find more comfort in kissing razors, then I do in anything else. They had been there for me when no one else was.

My dad just left. Just got up and left. No goodbye or I love you just gone. My mom doesn't give two shits about me either. This was today's reason.

I have an extremely sad and pathetic life. But don't worry about me. Im not worth it. I have no purpose in this world but to take up space. That's all I do.

I've tried ending it many of times. I've slit my wrists, jumped in front of a car, and jumped off a building. My wrists were sewn, I had a broken arm, and I had to be in a wheel chair.

When I jumped off, I went feet first. I ended up shattering my ankles. I passed out from the adrenaline, so I didn't feel a thing. Damn. After 1 1/2 years, I was fully functioning again.

The next time, I will succeed. I will die. No matter how much it will hurt, I will die. I am not worth living.

Hi! I hope you enjoyed this short little chapter. This is sorta like a teaser I guess. I guess you can call it a prolauge. If you want. Um, parts of the story are going to be like this. Keep reading my stories, and other of the stories under my reading list. If I put them there, they are good. I guess I'll end this with,

Squidgy squidgy squidgy, falalalala! Squidgy we love you!!!