From Shields and Thunders (Marvel x reader)

Slow Recovery

You remember the moment your brother saw you walking through the tower's doors, totally drenched thanks to the awful rain of the city, red eyes and tears still falling. You had to hug him and pull him to the floor so he would go running to kill the other man. That night, Tony hugged you and cuddled your shivering body until you fell asleep in his bed. The next morning, you woke up, and noticed for the first time that Steve wasn't going to be by your side on your bed anymore. Then, you cried again, hugging your brother's pillow while you choked on whimpers and wails full of pain and desperation. The one who said that people that cried over a cheater were dumb, didn't understand the pain that someone who was cheated on suffer. It felt like he ripped your heart and decided to play with it until it was useless, you felt like you were drowning and that every time you tried to breathe, you were just drowning even more.

That week you stayed in bed. Tony went with you for every meal, gave you things to eat, carried you to the bath, helped you clean yourself, put you on the bed again, hugged you, kissed your forehead, played with your hair, watched the silly romantic movies that you liked to see with Steve and comforted you when you inevitably started to cry every time you thought about the man. It was a week full of self pity and pain, a week of mourning a love that ended up so painfully and way too early. By the end of the week, you stood up by yourself, took a shower, shaved and walked out of your brother's room. Then you went to the kitchen and made breakfast for Tony and you, went to the workroom, and hugged your brother while whispering a soft thank you, he showed you a sad smile but then went with you to have breakfast.

Almost a year had passed from that moment, and yes, you were quite better. But if you had to be honest, Steve hurt you in a way that you couldn't explain, the fact of being unwanted, of feeling like you were just a replacement for the man he wanted to have by his side, all of this horrible feelings, they were marked in your heart like a wound made with a burning stamp. This means that when you heard from your brother that the part of the team that supported Steve was coming back to the tower, you got angry. It wasn't only because of what Steve did to you, you couldn't blame them for that, but it was because you saw how painful it was for your brother. The pain of being betrayed, the pain of being discarded like you were nothing was so new, so big that you could relate to your brother's feelings in more ways than one.

So, when you saw the rest of the team walking to the doors, you made them know your feelings about them living with your family like they had done nothing wrong. You could see the shame in their eyes, the embarrassment, the lack of confidence, but if you had to be honest, you didn't care. You knew these feelings, you knew them too well for comfort, so you weren't ready to forgive them, not for hurting the only man that truly loved you. After a few weeks, you started to get used to their presence, just talking to them if it was necessary. Of course, this became something unexpected for them, used to the kind and caring man that was Steve's husband, and not sure how to act in front of the man that only talked to them as if they were workers in the same company and nothing else. But eventually, they understood it and got used to it, just like you. Until a few weeks later, Steve and Bucky also came to the tower.

So now, Steve and Bucky were back with the avengers, all things kinda fixed. Some relationships were strained, like Steve and your brother's friendship, and all the friendships between both parts of the conflict. Which, yes, it sucked, but if you had to be honest, it was helpful. This way, you weren't forced to spend time with Steve and Bucky in the same room, or even on the same floor of the tower. Steve's team knew that you were in the tower, but they were careful enough to not comment anything about you in front of Steve, they knew that you didn't want to see him, they didn't know all the details but they noticed the lack of ring on your finger and they also knew that part of your change of attitude was the result of whatever happened between you two. So they didn't say anything, not wanting to ruin the little cordiality that they received from you.