My Belated Apology - Hyuga Neji x OC Fanfiction

Chapter 24

A/N: Thank you all for more than 800 reads ^o^ I appreciate your votes and comments, they keep me inspired nejihyugasimp ^^

3rd Person's POV

Shiyuki comes back home. She sits down at her desk and opens her sketchbook. The book is filled with her drawings about Neji. Her hands squeeze its covers. Gathering all of her courage, she slowly opens each of the pages and watches every single drawing. Her fingers caress them, as if she's caressing his face.

Shiyuki frowns. The more she watches, the more she feels wretched. Her body is shaking. His face. His smile, his pout, his sorrow, his happiness. They were all illustrated in her drawings. Why did she draw him so much? Why did she care for him so much? All the things she did in academy years and more than 3 years ago, are all pointless.
What did she do? Bringing trouble and pain upon herself?

Something is surging inside her. She's gnashing her teeth with a noise out of misery, anger, brokenness, and grief. Her eyes are covered by a thin layer of tears. He made her suffer so much, made her hate him heartily. And now he's trying to be close, trying to make her fall for him again. How can she believe him again? How can she accept it?

Suddenly, she springs her body up and throws the book. It darts in the wall with a 'thud'.

"I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU!!" Shiyuki screams at the top of her lungs. "Why?! Why did you break my heart, and now you act as if you're caring for me?! Why?! I hate you, Hyuga Neji!! Keep away from me!!"

She shouts with a face wet with tears. She rushes at her wardrobe. She pulls outs a white scarf and raises it high. She wants to throw and stamp on it, but... she can't. Something stops her. It tells her mustn't do it, this scarf is precious.
She just stands there crying, with a white scarf on her rising hand.
"I hate you..." She sobs in a quavering voice.

More than a year ago, on a snowy night like the night when she first met him. Team Guy had just returned from a mission. She and Neji were walking home.
"Shiyuki, aren't you cold?" Neji called from behind.
She turned her head and replied.
"No."
"You will catch a cold."
"That's none of your business."
"Take care of yourself, your health is not good." He took out a white scarf from his bag. "Here. Put it on, I lend you. Keep it carefully."

Not letting her react, Neji twined it around her neck. She looked down on the scarf with a pair of sparkling eyes. It's full of a low soothing jasmine scent.

Little did she know that he was expressing his love to her. He wanted to stay by her side and look after her, but he didn't dare to. He didn't know whether he deserved to be together with her or not.
That scarf would attend to her on behalf of him.
That scarf is his love.

That scarf, she's been keeping it carefully. She once wore his scarf whenever it's cold. She once looked at herself wearing his scarf in the mirror with a happy face. She once buried her face into his scarf to relieve her stress.

Now, she is hugging it tight with a sorrowful face.
"You broke my heart too much... I keep away from you to protect myself. Why? Why are you trying to get close to me? Why have you acted as if you care for me since then...?"
She searches for his fragrance on the scarf to calm herself, but it flew away long ago.

***

Neji is walking on the street when he notices a familiar silhouette. Long brown hair, red bow and a dark purple knee-length dress. Shiyuki.
He happily runs toward that girl and calls to draw her attention to him.

"Shiyuki! Have you recovered?"
Shiyuki turns her head back. His scarf is in her bag. She's about to take it out and pay it back to him. If she does that, she will finish all old scores with him. If she does that, she will break off all connection with him. If she does that, she and Neji will be mere strangers that have never met each other. If she does that...

But Shiyuki stops mid way. She just can't... Something tells her to decide not to. Somehow she can't do it, she can't break off with him... She'll keep this scarf, as a memory of her failed first love. Instead of paying back the scarf, she just looks at Neji as if he is a stranger that shouted her name like mad. Then she leaves without a word.

"Shiyuki? It's me!" Neji follows.
The Akai girl keeps walking, turning a deaf ear to him.
"Shiyuki, I'm sorry!"
"Enough, stop yelling Hyuga. You can go now." Shiyuki is triggered. She stops walking and faces him. Her frenzy eyes make his heart in pain.
"... Why do you hate me so much?"

She doesn't say anything and keeps on walking, leaving Neji standing there dead. Was this how she felt when being pulled away by him? Was this how she felt when he broke her heart? He understands her feelings now. What he did to her, now she's repaying it.

Shiyuki once just wanted to be by Neji's side, but he insulted her. Now the situation reverses. He just wants to be together with Shiyuki. He just wants to pull her into a hug, to comfort her, to take care of her, to protect her and make up for her. Why doesn't she accept him? Well yeah, Neji deserves it, Shiyuki has suffered too much.

"Shiyuki..." Neji stands there with a hopeless romance, watching the girl he loves walking away from him.