They don't know about us (A Drew Chadwick love story)

Eight - Matt's Funeral

The memorial was long and because i was one of the last persons to speak it seemed even longer. I was trying not to cry at all those storys that Matt's friends were telling. I missed him so much. 

There were a lot of people here, more that i ever thought it would show up. I didn't know so many people cared about him. I wonder how many and who will come to mine. I was standing about to go  to speak waiting to my sister stop talking.

It was silent when i went to the middle of the church, microphone in front of me. I looked over to my dad who was crying but still gave me a week smile. All the way towards the back i saw Wes, Keaton, Drew and Brooke they all smiled at me.

I tool a deep breath and began:

"Death comes to all of us and it will come to me. I know Jesus will meet Matt at the door, he will greet him with a smile and welcome him in his father's house.

When my father asked me if I’d like to read anything at Matt’s memorial, my first reaction was to say no, because all I could think about his death was what a horrible place the world is. A senseless, cruel, unfeeling place. And I knew that everyone else grieving over his passing would feel the same way – that this sucks.

But then, when i was making my way here I passed by a little bakery and i remembered something.

They used to sell these little iced cream puffs in white boxes, and when we were kids my dad would bring home one of these boxes with what seemed like ridiculous infrequency. My dad would sneak it into the fridge, where Laci, Matt or I would notice it hiding behind the milk and we would whisper to each other for the rest of the day in anticipatory bliss. We would set the table without being asked, plow enthusiastically through our greens. And then the white box would be brought out, the string cut, and the top lifted to reveal four perfect puffs on their paper doilies. They were always heavier than expected and, holding them in our eager hands, we could feel through the pastry the cold, thick custard inside. It was thrilling.

Matt would eat his right up, smiling his crooked-tooth grin and licking the paper clean. He adored the cream puffs, and so, when given one, he didn’t think, he just ate it with joy.

I, on the other hand, was a nasty little kid. When I got my cream puff, I examined every inch before taking the smallest nibble. I lapped at the custard like a kitten. I ate the thing crumb by crumb, always saving the icing on top for last. I wish I could say I did this because of some budding culinary palate, but no. I did it to be mean. I knew Matt would eat his and then look over and see me, still calmly working my way through the first third. I knew he would ask for a bite. And I knew I would close my eyes, lick my lips with slow, deliberate intent, and say no. Kyle saw a cream puff and got excited. I saw a cream puff and got revenge.

The trend continued as we got older. As many of you know, Matt had some…problems when it came to education. While this was certainly changing later in his life, he spent many years not doing what was expected of him, much to the frustration of his family. I think that to some extent we were all sort of anticipating the day he would make good on a promise he made to me half-joking in high school: he would give me a few years to get settled, wait till I popped out a couple of kids, then move in with me and babysit in return for room and board.

It was Matt, though, who showed us in the end. He pursued friends, places, and books with little thought to whether or not they helped him meet some societal benchmark in a timely manner. He listened to music and fell in love and lived in a motel with San Franciscan transients, all without wondering where he was going to be in five years. In college, he went to class not because the credits would push him that much closer to graduation, but because he actually had something to say about Spanish colonial history. Matt lived like he ate cream puffs – quickly, joyfully, and without a master plan."

I paused to look into the crowd, and noticed many people crying including my dad and Drew.

"And so, while all this still sucks, there is something lovely, even hopeful, in remembering that a good life is not defined by degrees or income or a solid ten year outline, but by taking daily pleasure in what’s already there in front of you.

I never thought I’d say this, certainly not with a camera rolling, but Matt, Matty, my beautiful brother, you were right. At the end of the day, you are loved by a ridiculous number of people, and not one of us cares that you can’t do Algebra or Maths. I’m just so very sorry I never told you this while you were alive.

I will love you forever and ever, and i'll see you again soon."

I tried to held myself from crying during my speach but when i finished and looked to the crownd i couldn't help myself. Walking to my dad made me tear up a bit more. I embraced him in a big hug and we stood there for several seconds.

"That was beautiful honey" my dad whispered in my ear

"Thanks dad." i smiled "I'll be right back. I'm going to find some people" i told him leaving and walking to the back of the church.

"Grace!" Brooke got up from sitting down and gave me a huge hug. Drew and the others did the same.

"You were incredible" Drew told me

"Thanks"

"I'm sure Matt loved what you just said, wheverever he is" Wes said

"Me too" Keaton agreed

"He sounds like a cool guy" Drew told me

"Yeah, he was"

* * *

I looked at the crowd one more time and hesitantly approached the gathering of people around the tiny fire pit.

Laci caught her eye first. 

"Have you seen dad?" i finally asked.

"No." she replied 

"Alright, we're all here because we loved Matt. This was one of his favorite places and if I know anything about him, I know he would have wanted us all to have a drink in her memory and talk about how awesome he was." One of Matt's friends said raising his glass "To Matt"

"To Matt" everyone concurred, clinking their cups and downing their drinks.

"I have to back to Hutington Beach and i just wanted to say goodbye" i said looking back at Laci

"I'm really glad you come" she said hugging me

"I'm too"

"Hey,Grace" i heard my dad's voice behind me "You going?" i nodded "Well, i'm glad you come, i really missed you"

"I missed you too" i smiled

Brooke smiled at me from behind my dad. I nodded to her, then mouthed an appreciative I love you to dad. 

"I better get going" i told him

"Call me as soon as you can" i nodded "Have a good trip sweetie" he said hugging me once again"

"Bye Laci" i smiled at my sister

"Bye!"

* * * * * 

Hey guys!!!!

First of all i had no idea how Grace's speech would be, so i kind of google it and put some thing together and this came out:)

Anyways i hope you liked this chapter as i did writing it, it's a bit sad but i like it.... sorry if it's small i can't really tell but i have been busy so i hadn't have much time to write.

THANKSSSSSSS!