Memories. Thoughts. They are a part of our everyday lives. Some of them are pleasant ones that cause smiles on our faces. However, as most of us I'm sure have found out, there are those memories, those thoughts... that aren't pleasant. Far from it. There are those terrible, horrible, creatures that invoke emotions of sadness, fear embarrassment.
Bad memories in particular are known for making us feel uncomfortable. An event that took place in our lives that was painful or negative. They will always be a part of us, that we know, but have we truly accepted them? Some memories are traumatic and we would rather bury them deep in our subconscience.
However, the more we bury them the more their skeletons pop back up or they haunt us like ghosts following us around no matter where we go or what we do. We cannot be rid of them. Sometimes they disappear for awhile – there's peace for a time. We think we're safe now, we think we've healed and we've “got over it”.
Then we see an object, a colour, a person who looks just like the ghost – the bad memory or memories. We hear a song and we hear the painful words that were spoken to us. Whatever the trigger is, it teleports us back to that moment.
Memories, whether good or bad, have the ability to take us back in time. Time travelling is there and most of us are experienced time travellers – just not the way we think – about time travelling that is.
There are no machines and unfortunately, we cannot go to a certain time period that we never lived in, but we can go back to our past and relive all all the moments we experienced. Memories can do that. If that's not form of time travelling then I don't know what is or perhaps that's a good metaphor.
The point is, that memories have the power to make us relive the whole event. In fact, the experience is felt intensely the emotions we felt then, no matter how many years ago come flooding in drowning us and we find ourselves kicking and thrashing for air. Trying not to drown, trying not to feel those feelings.
Some of us try to bury those memories but then we recall that we did, we have – over and over and now those memories are ghosts. You can't bury a ghost. So we try to run away from them – forget them – even if it's just for a short time. We do that in different ways. Working relentlessly, partying, drinking, drugs, overindulgence.
Most of us tend to go into self-destructive behaviours to forget or numb the pain that is brought on by those bad memories. Others are consumed by those ghosts – tormented by them. They are all we can think of, they are always there and we think that they are all we will ever experience, but we know that is not true.
Before the bad memories, we had good memories and even after the bad memories we've had some good memories. It's just that... the bad ones seem to have some strange power or hold over us, they make us feel more deeply and we don't want to feel sad or scared or embarrassed again.
We don't want to go through the traumatic experience again. The longer we replay and relive them the more we get sucked into this cycle of trying to suppress but that only makes them stronger, we then relive the event in full detail, then we start to think that we will never be free of these ghosts and we slip into despair and/or depression.
People say that we need to accept the past, acknowledge the ghosts. “But I have.” we say. “I have accepted my past.” Then we maybe we need to let go of them. But how? Replace them with pleasant thoughts, memories? It's easier said than done. Some memories are more traumatic and are hard to break free from.
But, they can be broken away from. Accepting may be the first step, then letting go, however that may be. Be it through forgiveness or braving on – not suppressing but moving on. Not letting the past control us or have a grip on us. Not letting the emotions we feel get us down. Perhaps that's the way to expel those ghosts.... Those bad memories.
