9. kill zone

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we've been walking for almost a week

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we've been walking for almost a week. but we've finally made it to the gorge to get  into the valley.
"two pillboxes, just like echo said."
*machine guns going off*
"that's our signal. It's working. They're moving out."
Blodreina and I stand up and nod at everyone. they nod back, she looks at me and nods. I nod back. we both pull our long swords out and put them in the sky causing everyone to march forward.
"Jaha would be proud of you Ethan. and I'm proud of you Lilith"
*gunshot*
It hit Ethan in the head.
"Ethan. no. no. ethan"
I drop to my knees. and feel a shot in my stomach.
"attack"
o yells.
"Lilith are you okay"
"take cover. I'm fine, I'll act dead. go"
please don't let me die down here lexa. please protect me from above.
"Ethan I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."
I'm lucky I have a lot of armor because I can barley feel the wound. I know it's there but I just hope I can recover fast. I put my hand on Ethan's face. but weirdly enough when you would think I would be crying. I wasn't. I was use to this. it doesn't hurt as much as it use to but, it's Ethan. my best friend. what have I became. why do I not care. what's wrong with me. the things I did in that bunker. those things are not okay.

flashback
"he killed someone. he shouldn't be in the arena he shouldn't have any chance of getting out."
Miller told Octavia.
"Miller the pits are the system."
"maybe we should have more than one option."
"exactly. there should be the pits but there should be something else."
"someone else"
Indra says and everyone looks at me. I was sitting where O usually sits.
"what am I supposed to do?"
"be a monster. that's what we need. and go at night."
Indra explains what she thinks I should do
"you want my daughter to be a little night monster?"
"O. she's right. I need to do something to save our people. this is it. I'll be the night monster, Indra."
she nods and tells me the information about the murder. I get in my all black armor
"tell him he is free. and then I'll go to his room"
Indra nods and leaves to free the man
"Lilith you don't have to do this"
Octavia tries to tell me
"yes I do."
I looks at myself in the mirror. It never gets old to see how cool my armor is. I walk out and head to the mans room. walking alone in the shadows because everyone was asleep. I start to pick at the lock on his door until it was unlocked. I walk in and see him in bed. so I walk over to him and take out a little knife. running it across his throat. he starts to wake up choking
"help. help."
"no ones coming. I would stop wasting your breathe"
"oh my gosh!"
I hear his wife yell
"what are you doing he was freed"
"Blodreina sent me."
"please don't"
does she not realize I already did?
"Lilith. don't hurt me"
"she just sent me for him."
"don't be a monster Lilith, you're better than that."
"I am that."
she tries to hit me but I knock her down.
"I said blodreina sent me"
"that's my husband. I don't care what you said"
"and I don't care who he is. or who you are."
I stabbed her with my knife. and walked out.
the next day at the pits was weird, their was a speech about the murders and Blodreina spoke
"I sent the kill order on Emmett. his wife got in the way. disobeyed me. if anyone else does that. they will get a kill order on them."
"who did it"
"who'd you send"
"I sent Lilith. our Night Monster"
everyone started to scream
"now be the last "
Miller walked up half way threw the fight and said
"the one about to win is in their for abusing his wife"
I look at O
"almost seems like murder to me."
"blodreina does he get his freedom"
Gaia ask and everyone looks at O
"no. he gets night monster"
End of flashback

remembering all of that makes me feel even more like a monster.
"Lilith. Lilith come on"
Miller grabs me and helps me run away
"Ethan. no I can't leave him here."
"it's war lilith. you said it yourself. he knew what he was getting into."
"you're right mil. I shouldn't have doubled standards"
"come on now before we're dead"
we finally made it out of the kill zone
"Miller. Lilith. y'all are hit."
"nate. Lilith. let me see"
"take his blood. give it to Miller."
"Niylah I'm not always the smartest but I don't think my blood mixes very well with yalls."
She just looks at me. am I gonna have to get red blood.
"your right. you wouldn't be a nightblida anymore"
that sentence almost broke me. I should be commander. not some girl who just showed up and ran away with the flame. I just lay down accepting my death.
"no. no Lilith. stay up. stay awake"
"I'm a nightblida. that's never going to change so find me some night blood please. or I'm dying in this war. but get back to everyone else first okay. the only people I actually need now is Clarke and Madi."
"Miller, did you see, Bellamy?"
"he's with Octavia. we got to go back and get them."
"get them? this is their fault. the enemy was waiting for us."
"we'll, maybe if you and the rest of the flame cult didn't turn tail-"
"say that again"
"enough!"
I yell trying to get up. some people come and help me stand
"we don't need to turn our back on each other anymore than some already have"
I say and glare at her fully saying that to her.
"now we are going to get them we just need to calm down. everyone needs to calm down"
I yell to everyone
"were they alive?"
Monty asks Miller and I
"I don't know. that's why we got to go back."
he doesn't know. oh my god neither do I. O please be okay
"then you go back alone. no one else is dying to save blodreina."
Brell says talking again.
"if we go back alone. that's because you're all dead. so tell me do you want to go back?"
I start to walk up to her and put my hand on my sword. Miller steps in front of me though before I could do anything.
"brell, we could still win."
she just shakes her head no.
"we could still win"
miler yells to everyone. no one looks like they believe him
"we can still win"
he says a lot quieter
"wonkru does not stop fighting until we are all dead. and we don't leave our people suffering. do y'all hear me. if you don't march with wonrku, you are not wonkru. and if you are not wonkru, you are an enemy of wonrku. you all have until tonight to decide. the pit starts before we march."
Miller falls down everyone behind us catches him.
"get me a suture kit, something for his pain."
"we're all out."
"Of what?"
"of everything."
what
"why am I okay? I got hit by a freaking bullet too."
"I don't know maybe you're blood"
"my sister was shot. and killed by the bullet. It can't be my blood"
"I don't know lilith. the only important thing is you're okay."
"Bellamy, a skai drag em hola."
echo said over the radio, I stand straight up
"go take it. we've got this."
Harper tells monty
"the traitor. this is her fault. you're not talking to her without me."
"I don't know if that's a good idea lilith"
"I come or you don't speak to her"
he nods and we walk to a tent
"Bellamy, a skai drag em hola. yu sen ai in. Bellamy, come in. do you read me?"
"echo, it's Monty."
"trig, Monty. put Bellamy on."
"I though the signal was safe. what the hell happened?"
"It was diyoza. she betrayed us."
I hear, I think raven, says
"we don't know that."
someone's voice I don't recognize at all says
"yeah? then where is she?"
they take their hand off the button so I can't hear
"Monty, where the hell is Bellamy"
I snatch the walkie talkie out of his hand
"oh lover boy. thanks to you he's still laying on the battlefield."
"what? I had nothing to do with that. Monty he's missing?"
Monty grabs the walkie talkie from me
"he's missing, yes. but there's still gunfire in the gorge. it's not over yet. guys, if you don't figure something out fast, 300 people are gonna die out here."
"if their are 300 of you then attack. you have the numbers."
"that's not an option. there's only a handful of people willing to go back in. they're at each other's throats. lilith's the only one in charge. and she's hurt. so really nobody's in charge to march."
"I can march Monty. and I am in charge."
after I said that I felt a sharp pain near the wound so I grab my side and lean my head down a bit
"Lilith you're not okay"
"yes I am"
"echo, what if the enemy is listening"
raven, I think, ask
"god I hope they are. just so they know I'm gonna kill every one of them"
"okay we understand and we'll figure something out. radio silence until then. is that clear?"
"copy."
I need to get back to O. now it was dark. so I step out ready for the pits.
"so who's really wonkru?"
a lot kneel to me. some don't. I nod my head at people to grab them.
"form a circle for the pits"
everyone starts circling around and the guards throw some of the ones that didn't kneel in the middle
"you sure you all won't march"
"I only obey my commander"
one of them says causing me to use my sword on him. and start fighting the others and finally they're all down.
"put in the others"
the same thing happens as before
"you're wonkru or the enemy of wonkru. choose"
they come at me and I start swinging my knife. I felt that pain again. oh my god. ouch that hurts. and then a vehicle pulls up. and out steps.
"Madi"

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