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C O N F E S S I O N S "well, you shouldn't. i'm not the one."
—
HE'D GONE RUNNING ON THE beach,something he'd started recently—I knew because I'd watched him from the window for about three days in a row now.
I'd seen him take off; he's been gone an hour now, and he's on his way back to the house now.
Now's my chance. If I don't do it now, I never will. I have to, I can't go another whole year without telling him that I'm in love with him. Rudy laid it all out on the line to me, and now it was my turn. All I know is that filming is going to be over soon—and it's now or never.
I walked out to the porch, with a set plan in my head. I didn't know how this was going to end, but either way we'll all be okay. Rudy and I are ok. It's like he never confessed his feelings for me. We're still Rudy and Y/n.
He didn't hear me coming up behind him at first, and maybe it'll be easier that way. Catching him off guard feels like a good thing. He has a million walls, and maybe if I just start talking he won't have time to build another one.
"Drew?" I say. He doesn't hear me, so this time I speak louder. "Drew."
He looks a little startled, which puts me at ease slightly. He's still out of breath from his run, which makes my nerves go even crazier for some reason.
"Hey." He breathed out.
I suck my lips in and begin to speak. "I've loved you since we ever met." Shit. The whole plan already went to hell.
All he did was blink.
"You're the only boy I've thought about since I met you three years ago when we started to film season one. You basically taught me how to dance, and that one time you helped me when I was having a panic attack. Do you remember? You kept telling me "you're okay" and I believed you. Because it was you who was saying it. Everyone else compared to you is saltiness. It's you, and it's always been you." I rambled on and on, completely spilling my guts to this boy in front of me.
I waited for his response anxiously. I felt like my heart was about to explode. It felt like a thousand years before he spoke.
"Well you shouldn't. I'm not the one. Sorry." Was all he said. I just stood there—the feeling of my heart about to explode suddenly stopped. Instead it broke into pieces.
"I don't believe you," I shook my head and furrowed my eyebrows in denial, "you like me, I know you do. I've seen the way you've looked at me." I've seen the way he's looked at me when I was with my ex; I've seen it with my own eyes.
"I don't know what to tell you. I don't like you the way you want me to." He sighed, almost as if he was sorry for me. "You're still stuck in high school, y/n."
That made me furious. What was I supposed to say to that? "I'm not! You do like me, admit it." I said, my voice getting louder by each word.
"You're crazy," he said, laughing to himself as he walked away from me, though from instinct I stopped him.
"Admit it. You were mad when I started dating Matt."
"What? Get your head out of your ass, y/n, the world doesn't revolve around you." He shrugged out of my grasp. My cheeks flamed red, both in embarrassment and anger. I could feel the heat beneath my skin; it was like a sunburn times a million.
"Yes, exactly, because the whole world revolves around you, right?" I shot back, quite poorly.
"You have no idea what you're talking about." His voice sounded like a warning, but I didn't stop to listen. I was too mad. I was finally saying what I really thought, and there was no turning back now.
"You just want to keep me on the hook, right? Just when I think I get over you, you reel me back in just how you want to. You're so screwed up, Drew. But I'm telling you, this is it." I said.
"What do you mean?" His voice started to get louder with annoyance, I could tell.
"You don't get to have me anymore. Not as your little fucking admirer, as your friend. I'm through."
"What do you want from me? Don't you have your boyfriend Matt or someone to go play around with?" He gestured off into the distance, as if Matt was right there. His face was turning red from anger, and I could tell from the moonlit ambience hitting his face.
"It's not like that." I shook my head, my face turning into an expression of disgust. My voice grew quieter, as if he beat me already.
"Wait a minute... so you like me, and then Matt," Drew paused, changing his gaze from his hands counting to me, "And Rudy. So you want your ice cream, your cookies, and your cake too..."
"Shut up!" I blurted out, without having time to think. I didn't regret it though, I was furious with him. I can't believe I ever thought I was in love with this boy. He's a dick.
"You're the one playing games, y/n. Not me, you. It's time for you to grow up. We're not in high school anymore, you're twenty-five fucking years old." His words stung like a bee sting—quick and painful.
"You've been an ass the entire time we've been filming. So you're going through family problems! So what? You're twenty-seven, and it's not an excuse to treat people like shit!"
He snapped his head away from me. "Shut your mouth," his voice sounded like a growl; low and furious. His jaw twitched—I had finally got to him.
"Everyone is trying to have a good time, and you're not even acknowledging that! Do you know how selfish you're being?"
Drew stepped up close to me, so close our faces were nearly touching—like he might either hit me or kiss me. My heart was beating a mile a minute, and I could almost hear it. I was so mad that I wish he'd hit me. I knew he'd never do it though; never in a million years.
Then he just walked away.
I could feel tears building up in my eyes, cause for a second there, I thought he might. Kiss me.
I was crying when Rudy showed up. He had a deep look of concern when he noticed that our moods weren't happy. Not even close to being happy.
"Drew, what's your problem?" He asked, almost immediately coming to the conclusion that he was the reason I was crying.
Drew shook his head and rolled his eyes. "Just keep her away from me. I'm not in the mood to deal with all of this." He said, which stung more than before.
"You've been acting like such an ass lately. Leave y/n alone." Rudy said, walking over to him.
My breath hitched slightly. Was this all because of me? Had they both been fighting recently because of me? Drew would tell to quit being so naive for thinking that, but am I really being that unreasonable?
That's when I started to get scared. Drew looked like he was about to punch Rudy, and he'd never laid hands on anyone.
"Can you leave me alone?" He tried to walk past Rudy, but he stopped Drew.
"You need to stop taking your shit out on everyone else." Rudy's voice became angrier already, and he had only said three sentences to Drew.
And that's when it happened—Drew had punched Rudy, things growing violent quickly.
—
AUTHORS NOTE !! this is a two part imagine whether y'all like it or not. I read a book recently and wanted to make it into an imagine, but it didn't fit into one part.
