Planeless

Three More Days

"Three days until the weekend, three days until I can breath again" the mantra countdown on loop in her brain had become a frequent flyer of her thoughts over the years, and it was almost obsessive in its longing for the next weekend, next vacation, next job. The mantra was the first thing she thought when she awoke, and it played on the cruise control of her morning routine. Coffee, makeup, bun, suit...and in the car she went.

She had long been on the assembly line of modern American life; go to college, go to grad school, get a job and don't complain-- eventually you will be happy. What they forget to tell you is that 40 hours a week for the rest of your life is a death sentence. It's a kind of slow demise, syphoning every ounce of creatively and compassion you have until at the end you are a crotchety hateful thing (but at least you have a 401k right?).

Three more days....

Time disappears on the commute, and magically the courthouse appears before her. She became a lawyer in the doe eyes of her youth, thinking she could make a difference...but can a system built on corruption also be a savior? Sure, she had victories over the years, but the grinding of teeth and internalized rage brought about watching injustice play out day after day have made her molars smooth and headaches a constant companion. Sitting in her car she began rubbing her temples /Three more days.../ she starts to zone out.

"Leila! Long time!" a voice cuts into the white noise and she jolts, she can smell the cigarettes and sandalwood that exude from him. She slowly turned to meet his eyes and couldn't help but smile, his auburn eyes and shit eating grin hadn't changed since they were children.

"What are you here for this time?" She riddled in a mocking tone, she noticed his eyes cut to her calves as she got out of the car. She rolled her eyes, men never change.

"If you must know, I seem to have racked up enough parking tickets to go bankrupt, so I am here to beg the judge for mercy on a simple man" his laugh twinkles and he winked. Her eyes were on a constant roll when they were together. She watched as he pulled a cigarette out of a crumpled marlboro box, and he caught her eye.

He held out the smokes "For old times? You can even have my lucky" now it was her turn to laugh, there in the box was a single cigarette tuned on its head, so the tobacco was showing. She had taught him that when they were 14, and she felt her hand reach out before she could even think. She could feel her face soften, smiling was so foreign to her these days. As she held up the cigarette to the corner of her mouth, a lighter appeared and he lit it for her. They locked eyes, and she could feel the electricity in her spine. They leaned against her car in silence. The tobacco calmed her heart and filled her lungs, and she felt a deep pang of nostalgia for the days when teenage recklessness ruled the day.

She could see his hand inching towards hers, and she froze...watching his hand creep towards her like a hunting cat. Calculated. She closed her eyes and took a drag, waiting.

" Leila!!!! COURT IS IN SESSION WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING!???!" Blared through the silence, and she looked up to see her partner at full sprint. Gigi meant well, but her type A high-strung demeanor always kept Leila on edge. She pulled her hand away from his and put the cigarette out. Before she could even think, Gigi had grabbed her wrist and now they were both running into the courthouse. She had needed more than one dragging by Gigi into work the last few weeks. In a way she was grateful someone was keeping her afloat. She looked over her shoulder for him, but somehow, he was already gone.