I never understood the point of friendships or having someone to depend on. But Anika stood by me through it all. I would never forgive myself for what I had done to her that day. To any of the girls I hurt. It was me. It had always been me.
"You know, I probably should have read the rest of the book before accusing her." Charli laughs lightly. I had no emotion anymore so I turned to face the window to stare at the birds perched on the windowsill. "Who would have thought it was you. I know I did at one stage but you proved me wrong. I was right all along though. Those messages you sent to Hayley. Blackmailing her, telling her to kill herself repeatedly, stalking her and over the span of like what 3 days? You are a genius." She was right. The messages I sent Hayley is the reason she chose to not live anymore. She couldn't take the pain and fear I was giving her. "And Cadance? You hit her in the back of the head with glass knocking her out while she bled to death. You are so lucky Anika was loyal and covered it up for you." I didn't remember hurting her like that but when I read the book all the memories came rushing back to me. "You kidnapped Sienna hiding her body in the drain in our backyard." I remembered that night clearly as if it was happening all over again. "You even killed my fucking sister. You buried her in that whole you supposedly dug whilst "Gardening". My fucking sister Isy." That death was completely unexpected. She had ignored my warning for her to try and not leave so I buried her alive. "And now Anika. Your best friend. You killed her, Isy, Do you not feel anything?" I had nothing to say. I felt nothing at that moment.
"Visiting hours are over." A random caretaker said before closing the door leaving us alone again. Sitting on the bed with the book in her hands. She handed it to me before standing up and walking to the door. "I hope you get better, Isy." And just like that I was left alone once again to listen to her talk. Pathetic. Was all she said over and over again.
I was sick, I only just realised it but i was really sick. Most of the things that were said or done didn't really happen. I only imagined it did. I could never tell what was reality or my own fantasy. I held the notebook in my hands as I scanned over the pages, throwing it at the wall. I curled into a ball on the bed and started to rock back and forth. This place was meant to help people like me but all they did was force medication down my throat and make me feel like I'm in jail. But they were safe, the remainder of my friends were safe and that's all that mattered.
