Renesmee: The Girl You Remember.

Before I Die

This might be a very confusing chapter for many. Here's what you need to know, Edward is experiencing Renesmee's memories. This is explaining her absence from Charlie, her non-existence for years, her behavior. ETC. 

Here's the confusing part: This is in Edward's point of view. Not Renesmee's, unfortunately. He is seeing Renesmee's memories through HER eyes, not his. He's experiencing EVERYTHING she went through, AS her. However, he's still himself.

ATTENTION, ATTENTION. CAUTION, CAUTION. READER DISCRETION IS ADVISED!!!!!!

Does everyone remember when I said this story touches on VERRRRYYYY sensitive subjects? If you find rape/abortion, anything to be a trigger or offensive to you, PLEASE do not continue. Because for one, NO, I am not changing this, this is what makes Renesmee grow into the person she is towards Edward. DO NOT read along, and then complain to me about it. 

NO I don't condone raping, NO I will not disclose my view on abortion. and NO, this isn't how I view it NOR does this impact my own PERSONAL view on it.

Before I die 

I had never looked into Renesmee's thoughts before. I had imagined that they were memories, but nothing like this. It was such an extraordinary experience, I could feel my heart beat again. Even though I knew it wasn't mine. It was my Daughters, but it still felt like mine. I could feel warmth run through my veins, warmth I hadn't felt in a hundred and sixty years, like many things I hadn't done in those years. Feel my hair grow, feel sweat bead down my face. I could even feel the linen of the clothes that clung to my body. Although, there was something significantly wrong...I was only four foot tall. <p>

Memories flashed of hers, seemingly unimportant as I watched myself in her eyes.

<p>

"Behave," I commanded, my voice as harsh as I wanted it to be back then. Anything to get rid of her, or make her absolutely aware she was no Daughter to me.

 <p>

One memory among others, that made my dead-heart sink, was the argument Bella and I had the night before Renesmee's birthday, A day where my family and I should have prepared to celebrate, where Renesmee could have recalled it with happiness with her Mother and Aunt and the rest of her family...if any of us had ever treated her as family.

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Instead, her supposed Family had disappeared to do their own thing, on the very day her birthday was. To be gone until the day after it was done. Leaving her Mother upset and fed up with everyone's behavior.

 <p>

I listened, which felt odd. I was listening through Renesmee's ears, but it felt like it echoed to put an even more haunting effect as it vibrated off the walls of her mind as she listened to the argument she heard Bella and I having.

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"Bella, we had to watch you suffer. And practically be torn open because of that creature! Why should she savagely murder you, and she still gets rewarded? I'm sorry Bella, but I am ashamed. I am ashamed that not only must I say I created such a vile creature, but that I am also forced to say she's my 'daughter'. She is by biology, but not by my account. She took your humanity. I wanted you to keep your humanity and thanks to her, you got it literally ripped away from you. She will not be rewarded with my love." I heard myself shout.  

 <p>

The memory seemed to shift, blur, and then squeeze out of my sight. Writing Bella's goodbye letter, and then mine.