SUPERNATURAL One shots and requests- Reader x Supernatural

Screaming Inside ~ Jack

!!!!This does contain triggers!!!!

Triggers; Dark thoughts, attempted suicide, self-harm, depression,

Pairing; Jack x Fem!Reader

Word Count; (tbh I don't even know 😂)

Summary; The reader suffers from severe depression and when TFW 2.0 go out on a hunt and the reader is left in the bunker alone, her mind starts to get the best of her

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You never really knew how to talk about what went on inside your head, it'd always been a jumbled mess and when you did try to talk about it you could never get those simple 3 words out of your mouth that taunted you, instead, they stuck to the inside of your throat and made you feel like you would suffocate and die unless you walked away and hid from everyone.

Over the last 2 months, you'd gone hunting only a few times, you only needed one hand to count all the hunts you've been on. The boys never seemed too upset about it, Sam asked if you were sure once, and all you could say to your brother was, "Yeah, I just need some alone time" you passed it off as needing time to be a girl and away from 4 grown men, and they understood. Sure you were glad they believed the utter lie, but you also wished that maybe they'd see something was wrong and instead stay with you, but you knew they needed to save innocent people, that was bigger than you.

They don't care

They don't need you

Why would they notice?

You're not THAT important.

The thoughts never seemed to stop, no matter what you tried, they'd grab you by the ankles and drag you down further and further into an unending pit of darkness that you knew you may never get away from. Even if you weren't hunting you trained, and you trained hard, you pushed your body past its' limits numerous times, all because you needed to be better, you couldn't be the weak link, you needed to be as strong as your brothers, and when you couldn't seem to do any better you took your anger out on yourself another way.

At first, it was punching till your knuckles bled, then it turned into restricting your eating by not eating as much, you thought you could stand to lose a few pounds, then it turned into small little cuts on your upper arms because you knew you could hide them in a short-sleeve shirt, till now.

"Alright (Y/N), we are about to head out, you sure you don't want to come?" Your eldest brother, Dean said as he stepped into your room as you sat on your bed reading a book.

"No thanks," you looked away from your book and up to him at the door, "maybe I'll go with you guys on the next hunt, but it's that time of the month so, you know." you laughed forcefully and watched as Dean's contorted into an "EW, didn't need to know" look. At that moment you knew he believed the lie without a doubt, he bid his farewell and left the room leaving the door open.

Not long after Dean left, Jack came into the room with a wide smile, "Hey (Y/N)?" He spoke in a soft tone almost

"Hey what's up?" you again faked a smile at him as he came further into the room.

"I was wondering if when we get back... maybe.. you and I could have....uh... Umm... a movie marathon?" he blushed a bit and looked at you. You returned his look with an almost genuine smile and nodded.

"Yeah that sounds great, I think that'd be fun." He gave you a huge smile as he gave you one of his signature (and slightly awkward) hugs, you wrapped your arms around him reciprocating the hug, only this time you held on a little longer and took a deeper breath, you wanted to remember the feel and smell of him before he left, you'd had a crush on Jack for a while now but were too scared to say anything to him.